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Chapter 20: Become a Friend to Yourself

So the first thing to remember: if you really want to go deeply into ecstasy, a violent, aggressive approach toward existence is not for you - rather, a loving approach, a friendly approach, a surrendering approach.

Or, you can say it in another way. With science, the approach is male. With religion, the approach is feminine. With science it is positive aggression; with religion it is passive love, surrendering, being in a deep let-go. But before this let-go, this love, you must throw out all the diseases that create aggression within you.

You are aggressive because you have accumulated aggression. You have accumulated anger, hatred, jealousy. You have accumulated so much poison within you. That poison has to be thrown out, only then will the aggression disappear.

And remember, you cannot approach existence with an aggressive mind. You will never find it. The very attitude becomes the obstacle. You can approach existence only in a very deep, passive receptivity. No aggression should be within you, no poison, no violence.

That’s why I place so much emphasis on catharsis, in meditations to throw out whatsoever you have accumulated in the past. All the dust, all the dead past - throw it away. Act it out, act it out of your system completely. Then you can surrender because then, when aggression in not in you, surrender is possible.

In the modern age, relaxation has become a problem. No one is really capable now of relaxing. Such a simple thing! Even cats do it better than man. Look at a cat relaxing - how deeply relaxed. But you cannot do it. What has happened to man? A cat can do it and a man cannot?

There is so much accumulated aggression that it cannot allow you to relax. Deep down you are really afraid of relaxation. That’s why you can’t relax. The moment you relax the suppressed madness will come out, so you cannot relax. You are afraid. You have such nonsense within you that if you relax it is bound to come out, it will flow out of you. This fear creates a protection, a defense mechanism. You create a wall around your repressions and, because of that wall, you cannot relax.

If you cannot relax, how can you surrender? - because surrender is absolute relaxation. It is merging into the universe so much that you don’t feel you are; you feel the universe is, existence is. You are so relaxed that you don’t feel any boundary between you and the universe, there is no division.

If you are tense, you are divided. If you are relaxed, you are undivided, one. Surrender is deep relaxation, absolute relaxation. Unless you throw out all that has become part of you, part of your mind, you cannot relax and you cannot surrender. And if you cannot relax, you cannot participate in existence.

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