Chapter 6: Don’t Look at Happiness Too Long
That is impossible! Because total ecstasy is not possible unless you have reached. When you reach, only then total ecstasy flowers. Otherwise, what will be the need to reach, if you are already totally ecstatic? Then there is no point in going anywhere, you have already reached the goal!
In total ecstasy the goal is already left behind. Who wants to reach then? Where will you reach then? There is no more. The path has come to the very end.
In total frustration the ecstasy happens. And why do I say in total frustration? Because if you are still hoping that happiness is possible in this world - and when I say this world always remember I don’t mean the world of the trees and the birds and the sky, when I say this world I mean your mind, this mind, this ego-centered mind - if you are still hoping that maybe there have been many frustrations, but still there is a lurking hope that some day or other, somewhere in the future, with this mind that you have got, with this ego, happiness is possible, then ecstasy will not happen.
Ecstasy happens only when you have come to realize that with this mind no happiness is possible, an absolute realization of the fact that this mind is moving in circles. It is never going to be what you are seeking, it is never going to be a bliss, a benediction. When you realize this totally, suddenly the mind drops! Because without hopes how can you cling to it? And remember, the mind is not clinging to you, you are clinging to it. How can a dead thing like mind cling to you? You are clinging to it because there is hope. Total frustration destroys all hope, one becomes hopeless.
A distinction has to be made. You also become hopeless many times but it is not total. Even in your hopelessness somewhere the seed of hope is hidden. Again it starts sprouting. You are finished with one woman or with one man, you are frustrated; but you are not finished with woman as such, or man as such. With one particular woman you are finished, or with a particular man - but not with womankind, not with the phenomenon of the feminine. A desire lurks somewhere deep in your frustration also, that there must be a woman who is just made for you. And you can be happy with her. You are frustrated with particulars but not with the universal.
Frustration is total when you are frustrated with the universal. Then the energy moves inwards. It starts turning in. Then it is not moving out.
You may be frustrated with this house where you are living but not with that palace someone else is living in. Then you will try to bridge the gap, to convert the hut into a palace. You may be frustrated with the money that you have got, but not with money as such; with the power that you have got but not with the lust for power as such. Total frustration means you are really frustrated. You are suddenly in such a situation that there is nowhere to go, absolutely nowhere to go - only then the energy turns in, and that turning in is ecstasy.