Chapter 17: A Flowering of Consciousness
The womb is a wish-fulfilling tree. There is no gap between wish and fulfillment. The child has not even to desire, whatsoever is needed is fulfilled - no effort, no desire, no tension. The child is in perfect moksha, and if we were to ask a child to leave the womb and come out, if it were up to him, no child would be born. It is dangerous! It is taking a very dangerous step. Going out of the womb is going out of heaven. It is being thrown out of the garden of Eden. Now everything is going to be a struggle. Now demand and supply are not going to meet so easily and desires cannot be fulfilled so easily. Now there will always be a gap between the desire and its fulfillment, and even when it is fulfilled, it is not going to be a fulfillment - because through its fulfillment many other desires will have been born meanwhile. So it is going to be a constant struggle.
So if it is up to a child to decide whether to leave the womb or not, no child will leave. It is very comfortable - absolutely comfortable. But it is a dead existence. No growth is possible. Growth is possible only when you choose dangers consciously. When you move on unknown paths you grow. When you take risks, you grow. Just like this, man is again in a womb - the womb of the unconscious, mm? Try to understand this: the womb of the unconscious. To leave it is a second birth.
In India we call the person who was born again “twice-born” - dwij. The brahmins were called twice-born only because of this: that the first birth is the birth out of the womb of the mother, and the second is the birth out of the womb of your own unconscious. Unless you are born out of your unconscious and become conscious, you are not a brahmin. If you are not conscious, you are not a brahmin. “Brahmin” means one who knows the brahman, the ultimate. If you are perfectly conscious, you come in contact with the ultimate: you become a brahmin. This second birth is out of your own unconscious.
What is this unconscious? Freud has said that a man is just like an iceberg: ninety percent under water and only ten percent above it - nine parts hidden under water and only one-part, one-tenth, above it. Man is an iceberg! Only one part is conscious, nine parts are unconscious, and that one part, one-tenth, is impotent against the other nine. The greater part is unconscious; only a very small fraction is conscious. That’s why you are always pulled by the unconscious, manipulated, maneuvered. You may go on thinking that you are the deciding factor - you are not. The unconscious, hidden mind always decides.
You fall in love. Is it your decision? Is it your conscious decision? Are you in love consciously? You say, “It happened.” What does it mean “It happened”? It means some unconscious forces within you are pulling you. You are just a puppet. That’s why, if it has happened, suddenly one day it disappears again. What can you do? You were just a victim; you were never asked. And not only with love: penetrate deep into whatsoever you think, you do, you feel, and you will come to the conclusion that some unknown force goes on manipulating you. You are not. You may deceive yourself that these are your decisions - they are not.
You decide not to be angry, and then there is anger. Everyone has felt the impotence of his own decisions. Every moment you feel it. You decide not to do this, and in spite of yourself, you have to do it. Then you go on creating rationalizations. Those rationalizations are again conveniences. You decide not to be angry and you are angry. Then one possibility is that you will go deep, dig deep within yourself and come to a conclusion that you are not capable of deciding anything - you don’t have the power to decide, you have no power, you are absolutely impotent.