Quantcast

Read Book

 
 
OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   Christianity: The Deadliest Poison and Zen: The Antidote to All Poisons
 

Chapter 2: Service with a Smile

.It is the same Bakker, you know, who has been tempted by the devil to make love to his secretary and to make love to his assistant priest. Now he is trying hard to get back, but it is difficult. The whole country knows that this man has been deceiving for years, teaching celibacy to the television onlookers. He had millions of people listening to him.one of America’s most prominent TV preachers.

The wife said, “I am sorry, sugar, the devil tempted me” - just the same as the devil tempted you!

“The devil?” shouts Jimmy. “So why didn’t you say to him, ‘Get thee behind me, Satan’ - like a good Christian woman?” .That’s what Jesus used to do. The devil used to tempt him.. It is strange, I have been looking for the devil my whole life and I have not found him. I wanted to tempt him. But Jesus was continuously tempted by the devil, and he always said to the devil, “Get behind me!”

So Bakker told his wife, “Just like a good Christian, why did you not say to the devil, ‘Get thee behind me, Satan’?”

“I did,” replies Tammy, “but then he whispered to me, ‘Honey, it fits you beautifully from behind’!”

Avirbhava!

Avirbhava is going on a shopping trip. The devil will tempt her. So remember.!

When Gautama the Buddha Auditorium becomes too small to contain all the seekers coming to Pune, our beloved master goes on a tour of the universe looking for a new site.

At one stop, he arrives at the Pearly Gates and is greeted by Saint Peter. The Christian saint takes one look at the man before him, and nearly faints.

“My God! You? Up here? And you want a two-week tourist visa?” cries Peter. “I must have a talk with God first.” And Saint Peter scuttles away to find God Almighty.

God is not very pleased at Saint Peter’s news, and after a lot of deep thought, he tells Saint Peter, “Okay.. He can stay for a short while, but only on one condition: no discourses!”

A couple of weeks later, God runs into Saint Peter again.

“How is everything going with `You-know-who’?” asks God. “Is everything all right?”

“Just great, Swami-ji!” replies Saint Peter. “Everything is yaa-hoo!”

Nivedano.

(drumbeat)

(gibberish)

Nivedano.