Chapter 5: Two Ladies and a Monk
Control has become such a supreme value. It is not a value at all. A controlled person is a dead person; a controlled person is not necessarily a disciplined person. Discipline is totally different. Discipline comes out of awareness; control comes out of fear. People who are around you are more powerful than you, they can punish you, they can destroy you. They have all the power to control, to corrupt, to repress. And the child has to become diplomatic.
When sex energy arises, the child is in difficulty. The society is against it; the society says it has to be channeled. And it is flowing all over the child. It has to be cut.
In the schools what are we doing? In fact, the schools are not so much instruments for imparting knowledge as instruments of control. For six, seven hours a child is sitting there. This is to curb his dancing, to curb his singing, to curb his joy; this is to control him. Sitting for six, seven hours every day in an almost prisonlike atmosphere, by and by the energy deadens, the child becomes repressed, frozen. Now there is no streaming, the energy does not come, he lives at the minimum - that’s what we call control. He never goes to the maximum.
Psychologists have been searching and they have come to recognize a great factor in human misfortune - that is, that ordinarily persons live only ten percent. They live ten percent, they breathe ten percent, they love ten percent, they enjoy ten percent - ninety percent of their life is simply not allowed. This is sheer wastage. One should live at the hundred percent capacity, only then is flowering possible.
So meditation is not control, it is not repression. If somehow you have got the wrong idea - you are repressing yourself - then you will become very controlled, but then you will be cold. Then you will become more and more indifferent, not detached. Indifferent, noncaring, unloving - you will almost commit suicide. You will be alive at the minimum. You can be called “just so-so” alive. You will not be burning from both sides, your flame will be very dim. Much smoke will be there, but almost no light.
It happens to people who are on the path of meditation - Catholics, Buddhists, Jainas - that they become cold, because to control comes easily. Awareness is very arduous. Control is very easy because control needs only a cultivation of habits. You cultivate habits, then those habits possess you and you need not worry. Then you go on with your habits, they become mechanical and you live a robot life. You may look like a Buddha but you will not be. You will be just a dead stone statue.
If compassion has not arisen in you, then apathy will arise. Apathy means absence of passion; compassion means transformation of passion. Go and watch Catholic monks, Jaina monks, Buddhist monks, and you will see very apathetic figures - dull, stupid, nonradiant, closed, afraid, continuously anxious.
Just the other day I was reading an article on Oscar, the founder of Arica. The man who was interviewing him was a little surprised to see that he was continuously smoking, so he asked, “Why are you smoking so much and why do you smoke?”
At least Oscar was true. He said, “Whenever I feel nervous I smoke, it helps.”