Chapter 6: Guilt Is Inverted Revenge
Every time you call homosexuality a perversion, even though you do not condemn homosexuals, I feel hurt as I am a gay. I have tried to look, to watch, to meditate on it but still my feelings, my love go naturally after men. Since being with a man I like and trust, I have felt silence and happiness. But it is difficult to accept myself totally joyfully.
Osho, how can I live these moments without feeling perverted? What is the difference between being totally accepted by you and not being condemned?
The question is immensely important, because the whole future of humanity depends on a few factors: one is homosexuality. First, I would like to explain to you why I call it perversion. And once you understand it, things will be simpler.
There is no biological program in you for homosexuality. The biological program in your sperm is for heterosexuality. I am simply stating a fact, that homosexuality has arisen under ugly pressures in the monasteries of all religions, where it is forced to happen in the name of the purity of celibacy - and in the schools, colleges and in universities where boys and girls are kept separate and teachers and professors function as gods so that no heterosexual relationship happens.
Men and women become sexually mature at the age of thirteen or fourteen. The natural thing would be to allow them the expression of their new area of exploration. Of course, all precautions can be taken so that small boys and girls don’t get into any trouble - particularly the girls, that they should not become pregnant at such an early age.
In the past there was no way, but now we are in a better position. According to me, the pill is the greatest revolution that has happened in history. And now, even better pills are available. The first pill was not a hundred percent foolproof. You have to take it continuously and if you miss one day and by chance you meet your lover.. The human tendency is to think that one does not get pregnant every time, why should it happen at this time? Take the chance. But if hundreds and thousands and millions of people are taking chances, then a few pregnancies are bound to happen.
The society managed forcibly to keep the two sexes apart. And I wondered myself, when I came to know that between the ages of sixteen and eighteen sexual energy, as it happens, is at its peak. It will never be the same power again.
We have arranged marriages after the boys and girls return from the universities - age twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six. Their peak point of energy has already passed six or eight years back. They are on the decline. Because of this decline.. And I suspect that religions wanted this decline to happen, because with this declining force you cannot have orgasmic experience. Orgasmic experience is a flood. You are so flooded that you disappear. And I respect the orgasmic experience because my understanding is that all meditations have arisen out of it. All spirituality has arisen out of it, because it has given a taste of the beyond.