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Chapter 3: Ecstatic All the Way

A man whose pet parrot had died wanted to replace him and went to the pet shop to buy a new one. The pet shop owner showed him his selection of parrots.

“I want one that can talk,” said the man. “You see, I like to chat with my bird.”

“Ah,” said the pet-shop-owner, “I have just the bird for you. It can speak five languages too. Here he is. I must mention one thing though, sir. I’m afraid he lost both his legs in a fight with a cat.”

“Impossible!” said the man. “If he has got no legs, how come he is standing on his perch?”

“He is not standing, sir,” said the owner. “He is holding on with his prick. Luckily he has got quite a long one - and what is more, he is a great ascetic, almost a saint, and his control over himself is immense, almost absolute.”

“Unbelievable!” muttered the man, and he looked down under the perch, and sure enough the bird had his cock wrapped around the perch.

“I will take it!” he said.

The next day he went to work, and when he returned in the evening the parrot called him over: “Hi! I have been waiting to talk to you,” the parrot said. “After you went to work this morning, a young man came in and sat on the sofa with your wife.”

“No?” said the man.

“Yes!” said the bird. “Then he opened your wife’s blouse and put his hand inside.”

“What? The bastard! What next?”

“Well, he put his other hand up your wife’s skirt!”

“The fucker! What then?”

“Well, I don’t know,” said the bird. “I lost my self-control and fell off my perch!”

Enough for today.