Chapter 20: Slipping into the Vertical
The experience has been good. Blessed have been these three moments. Remember them, be mindful of them, and more and more will be coming. When they come next, don’t get scared. This time you got scared. If one gets scared, then the moment cannot become a prolonged state. It comes and it goes because you are not accepting it, you have not welcomed it. The guest has knocked at the door, but the host was not willing.
Welcome it, and next time it comes start dancing, so that everybody knows what is happening. You will see that the moment grows deeper and deeper and deeper. It can become almost an eternity. A single moment can become eternity, because it is not a question of length but of depth.
This has to be understood: time is length, meditation is depth - of the same energy. Time is length: one moment following another moment following another moment; a row, a line, a linear process - but one moves horizontally on the same plane. Tick.tick.moments pass.but the plane remains the same.
What you experienced are the moments of depth. Suddenly you slip down, or if you allow me, you slip up. Both are the same, but you are no longer horizontal - you become vertical. Suddenly a turn, and you are slipping out of the linear process. One becomes afraid because mind exists only on the horizontal plane. The mind becomes scared: where are you going?
It looks like death. It looks like madness. Only two interpretations are possible for the mind: either you are going mad, or you are dying. Both are scaring, and in a way, both are true. You are dying to the mind, so the interpretation is right - and you are dying to the ego. And in a certain way you are going mad, because you are moving beyond the mind which monopolizes all sanity; which thinks that only that which is within the mind is sane, and that which is beyond it is insane. You are crossing the boundary, you are crossing the danger line, and the mind says, “Beware, stop! Come back!” Because nobody knows - once you have crossed the line you may not come back. That’s why the mind becomes afraid.
But these moments when you slip down or slip above, slip in height or in depth, are the same. When you slip beyond the horizontal line there is eternity, time disappears. One moment can be equal to eternity, as if time stops. The whole movement of existence stops because motivation stops.
This is the meaning of the Christian symbol of the cross. The cross has two lines - one horizontal, one vertical. When Jesus is crucified it is very symbolic. His hands are on the horizontal line, and his whole being is on the vertical line. Hands represent doing, action, so only doing is on the horizontal line. When you become a non-doer, you slip. When you are just a being, when you just are, then you slip on the vertical line - that is the vertical line of the cross.
But of course you will be as frightened as Jesus was when he was crucified. He started crying: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Are you not with me anymore? Have you left me alone in this misery?” Even Christ became frightened. Everybody is going to become scared; it is natural. But by and by go beyond the natural - then the real nature opens its doors. It has been good.