Chapter 74: Sensitivity Is Awareness
A great physician of those days, Jeevak, was Buddha’s personal physician. He used to move with him wherever he went. Many times people must have asked, “Why does this Jeevak go with you?” But it was Jeevak’s own attachment. Jeevak was moving with Buddha because of his own attachment, and the disciples who were trying to help Buddha’s body remain alive longer in this world, even if only for a few days more, were also attached.
For Buddha himself, illness and health were the same. That doesn’t mean that illness will not give pain. It will! Pain is a physical phenomenon, it will happen. But it will not disturb the inner consciousness. The inner consciousness will remain undisturbed, it will remain as balanced as ever. The body will suffer, but the inner being will remain just a witness of the whole suffering.
There will be no identification - and this I call the miracle. This is possible through faith. And no mountain is bigger than identification - remember. The Himalayas are nothing; your identification with your body is a greater mountain. The Himalayas may be moved or not moved through faith, that is irrelevant, but your identification can be destroyed.
But we cannot conceive of anything which we do not know, we can think only according to our minds. We think according to where we are; the pattern remains the same.
Sometimes my body is ill, and people come to me and they say, “Why are you ill? You should not be ill; an enlightened person should not be ill.” But who told you that it is so? I have never heard about any enlightened person who was not ill. Illness belongs to the body. It has no concern with your consciousness or whether you are enlightened or not.
And sometimes it happens that enlightened persons are more ill than unenlightened ones. There are reasons.. Now that they don’t belong to the body, they don’t cooperate with the body; deep down they have broken themselves from the body. So the body remains but the attachment and the bridge is broken.
Many illnesses happen because of the separation that has happened. They are in the body but their cooperation is no longer there. That is why we say an enlightened person will never be born again - because now he cannot make any bridge with any body again. The bridge is broken. While he is in the body, then too, really, he is dead.
Buddha attained enlightenment when he was near about forty. He died when he was eighty so he lived forty years more. On the day he was dying, Anand started crying and said, “What will happen to us? Without you we will fall into darkness. You are dying and we have not yet become enlightened. Our own light is not yet lit and you are dying. Do not leave us!”
Buddha is reported to have said, “What? What are you saying, Anand? I died forty years before. This existence was just a phantom existence, a shadow existence. It was running along somehow, but the force was not there. It was just a momentum from the past.”
If you are pedaling a bicycle, and then you stop and there is no pedaling, you are not giving any cooperation to the cycle, it will go on moving for a little whole just because of the momentum, the energy that you gave it in the past.