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Chapter 11: The Suchness of Things

The rat looked all around, and seeing that nobody was looking, he pushed the button, and went through it again. You will be surprised: in one hour, he pushed the button six thousand times - till he died! He forgot all about food, forgot all about everything. Beautiful damsels were passing by, and he didn’t even care about all those beautiful girls after whom he had been going crazy; there was no need now. No woman can give a man such a total orgasm, and no man can give a woman such a total orgasm, because the sexual organs are far away from the center. By the time the message reaches to the center, it is already very, very diluted. Hence, ninety-seven percent of women never achieve orgasmic joy. And those are Western statistics. Ninety-seven percent in America - what to say about India? I don’t think I have ever come across a single woman who has said that she achieves orgasmic joy. She cannot - the culture does not allow it. She has to lie down almost dead. She simply suffers the whole foolishness of the man, and deep down she thinks that this man is a sinner dragging her into hell. She is not interested at all because she knows nothing about orgasmic joy. And her orgasmic joy is far more profound than man’s. Her whole body is erotic; man’s whole body is not erotic. He is only partially erotic, locally erotic.

These centers of sex and laughter are very close in the brain, so sometimes they can overlap. So when you are making love, if you really allow it, the woman will start giggling. It tickles, because the center is very close! She may not giggle just out of politeness, because the man may feel offended - but the centers are very close together, and sometimes when you are really in deep laughter you may have the same orgasmic joy as you have in sex.

It is not a coincidence that many beautiful jokes are sexual. The centers are so close.what can I do?

The wealthy woman woke up, looked around her bedroom, then rang for her Chinese houseboy, Fu Ling.

She asked him how she got home the night before, and he said, “I bring missy home.”

Then she asked him how she got undressed. Fu Ling said, “I undress missy.”

She asked then how she got into bed, and he said, “I put missy to bed.”

Whereupon she said, “God, I must have been tight!”

Fu Ling replied, “First time, yes, missy! Second time.no!”

Makowski, the agent, called his friend Lyssky, the producer of striptease shows. “Lyssky,” he shouted, “I’ve got a girl for you that is gonna make a fortune for both of us. She is incredible - gotta a pair of lungs that will knock your eyes out! Listen to these statistics: hips - forty; waist - twenty-seven; chest - ninety-nine!”

“Incredible!” said Lyssky. “What kind of act does she do?”

“Act? What act?! She just crawls out and tries to stand up!”

The newlyweds arrived at their honeymoon hotel. The excited groom, quite pleased with his reputation as a lover, and eager to thrill his bride with his expertise, quickly threw her upon the bed and performed with the skill of a champion sexual athlete.

When it was over he whispered to his bride, “Ah yes, my dear, I could tell how pleased you were - I noticed your toes curling up in ecstasy. I promise you I will always bring you such joy!”

She whispered in reply, “Perhaps next time, Romeo, you could remove my pantyhose first!”

Enough for today.