Chapter 2: You Are Already That.
Then indulge! Then be sensual! Why are you so afraid of life? Why do you want to commit suicide? What is wrong with indulgence and what is wrong with being sensual? You have been taught so, and this is what I am saying. Then you become afraid of being sensitive, because if you are sensitive, then everything will grow with sensitivity. Sensuality will grow - it is beautiful, nothing is wrong with being sensual. An alive man will be sensual. What is the difference between a dead man and an alive man? The dead man is no longer sensual; you touch and he doesn’t feel, you kiss and he doesn’t respond.
I have heard one anecdote about Picasso. A lady was appreciating Picasso’s pictures and she said, “Yesterday I went to a friend’s house and there I saw your self-portrait. And I loved it so much, and I was so impressed, that I kissed the portrait.”
Picasso looked at the lady and said, “And did the portrait reply? Did the picture kiss you in response?”
The lady said, “How foolish, how can the picture respond?”
Then Picasso said, “Then that was not me. A dead thing; how could it be me?”
If you are alive your senses will function to their total capacity; you will be sensual. You will eat food and you will taste; you will have a bath and you will feel the coolness of the water; you will move in the garden and you will smell the fragrance - you will be sensual. A woman will pass and a breeze will pass within you. It has to be so - you are alive! A beautiful woman passes and nothing happens in you? - you are dead, you have killed yourself.
Sensuality is part of being sensitive. Because of the fear of sensuality all the religions are afraid of sensitivity, and sensitivity is awareness. So they go on talking of being aware, but they cannot allow you to be sensitive, so you cannot be aware. It becomes just talk. And they cannot allow you indulgence. In fact, they have coined the word indulgence. It has a condemnatory note in it. The moment you say “indulgence,” you have already condemned.
This is the dilemma: religious people condemn indulgence, and they create indulgence. They condemn sensuality, and they create sensuality. How does it happen? When you go on suppressing your senses, the very suppression creates indulgence. Otherwise, a really alive man is never indulgent. He enjoys, but he is never indulgent. A man who has been eating well every day cannot indulge in food. But go on a fast - then indulgence comes. A man who has been fasting goes on thinking about food, food, food. Food becomes the obsession. He eats for twenty four hours. Then, when he comes to break the fast, he indulges to the very other extreme. On one extreme he fasted, on the other extreme he will eat too much.