Chapter 5: Be a Light unto Yourself
Maybe that was the first time he heard. Those forty years he must have been missing. That may have been the first time he was not deaf. He had clarity. The very situation was such that he was trembling to his roots, he was shaking to his very foundations. Buddha was leaving.and when you have lived with a man like Buddha for forty years, it is difficult. The very idea to be without him is difficult. It is impossible to believe.
Ananda must have thought of committing suicide. It is not reported in the Buddhist scriptures, but I say he must have thought about committing suicide. That idea must have happened to him; it is so human. Living forty years with Buddha, and then Buddha is dying and nothing has happened to him. He has remained desertlike, not even an oasis. He has missed the opportunity.
His eyes must have become clear. This death must have penetrated him like a sword. Sharp must have been this moment. And Buddha said, “Be a light unto yourself,” and he died. He died immediately. This was his last utterance on this earth: Be a light unto yourself.
This struck home, this penetrated Ananda’s heart, and within twenty-four hours he became enlightened.
That source of luminosity is within you. It is not outside you. If you seek it outside, you seek in vain. Close your eyes and go within yourself. It is there.waiting since eternity. It is your innermost nature. You are luminosity, your being is luminous. This luminosity is not borrowed, it is your innermost core. It is you.
You are light - a light unto yourself.
From the time when there was yet no heaven and earth till the present day there is nothing in the ten quarters which is not seen or known or heard by such a mind. For it has gained all knowledge and for that reason it is called illuminating.
Meekness is power and meditation is illumination. Both are two aspects of the same coin. On one side it is meekness, egolessness; on another side it is purity of mind, illumination. They both go together.
You will have to work on both these things simultaneously, together. Become more and more egoless, and become more and more meditative. And the greatest power will be yours, and the greatest knowing will be yours, and the greatest light will be yours.
Enough for today.