Chapter 10: Just One Moment.
The destination seems to be near,
as the path is deserted and lonely.
When all your inner paths seem to be lonely, then you must know that the destination is not very far away, it is quite near. As long as your inner paths are full of dreams it means that you are in the marketplace. The world may be calling you a saint - and you may be thinking yourself to be a saint - but the worldly man in you is not dead, he is only hidden, and the hidden worldly person is more dangerous because he is like a hidden disease. If it is manifest it can be treated, but if it remains hidden it cannot be treated. And what can a doctor do if the sick person goes on denying that he is sick?
This is not the problem of ordinary people, this is the problem of the so-called great mahatmas. During the last days of his life even Mahatma Gandhi used to have dreams of sex. He was a very honest man although he was on the wrong path, because if, in spite of a lifelong effort, lust arises in your dreams, then it means that the effort was being made in the wrong direction. He had worked very hard, he was not lacking in effort, and he was very honest about it. But by honesty and integrity alone you cannot reach the destination. You cannot reach the destination by integrity alone and you cannot reach the destination only by going through right paths. You reach the destination only when the integrity, effort and the right paths unite.
If you try to extract oil from sand very honestly, you will not succeed. Your honesty is not enough for this purpose because there is no oil in the sand. You can go on trying with full faith, with all your integrity, but it will be of no consequence. On the other hand, another person with less integrity may succeed if he is trying to extract oil from oil-seeds. But a person with no faith and no integrity may have the oil-seeds, but he will not get the oil because he is not making any effort to extract it. That is why a revolution in life takes place only when the integrity and the right path unite.
To the end of his life Gandhi used to be disturbed by dreams. But I must say that he was an honest person, he was not like your other so-called sadhus and saints who are disturbed by dreams but never talk about them to anyone. Gandhi talked about it openly. His followers didn’t want him to because it hurt their egos to know that their guru had such dreams. His followers thought of him as Mahatma. So they were very worried about what people would say if they come to know about his dreams. That is why they used to ask him not to talk about it openly.