Chapter 55: Only the Unreal Dissolves
Consciousness, intelligence - they are internal organs. Through them I am aware of my own being, of my own existence. That’s why if you close your eyes, you can forget your body completely, but your own feeling that you are, remains. And it is conceivable that when a person dies.. It is a fact. When a person dies, for us he is dead, but it takes a little time for him to recognize the fact that he is dead because the internal feeling of being, remains the same.
In Tibet they have special exercises for dying and they say one must be ready to die. One of the exercises is this: whenever someone is dying, the master or the priest or someone who knows the Bardo exercises will go on saying to him, “Remember, be alert, you are leaving the body.” Because even when you have left the body it will take time to recognize that you are dead because the internal feeling remains the same; there is no change.
The body is only to touch and feel others. Through it you have never touched yourself, through it you have never known yourself. You know yourself through some other organs which are internal. But this is the misery - that we are not aware of those internal organs and our image in our own eyes is created by others. Whatsoever others say about me is my knowledge about myself. If they say I am beautiful or if they say I am ugly, I believe in it. Whatsoever my senses say to me through others, reflected through others, is my belief of myself.
If you can recognize the internal organs you are freed from society completely. That is what is meant when it is said in old scriptures that a sannyasin is not part of the society, because now he knows himself through his own internal organs. Now his knowledge about himself is not based upon others, it is not a reflected thing. Now he doesn’t need any mirror to know himself. He has found the inner mirror, and he knows through the inner mirror. And the inner reality can be known only when you have come to the inner organs.
Internal organs. You can then look through those internal organs. And then - the me. It is difficult to express it in words, that’s why me is used. Any word will be wrong - me is also wrong - but the I has disappeared. So remember, this me doesn’t have anything to do with I. When thoughts are uprooted, when I-ness has disappeared, when internal organs are known, the me appears. Then for the first time my real being is revealed - that real being is called me.
The outer world is no more, thoughts are no more, the feeling of ego is no more, and I have come to recognize my own internal organs of knowing, consciousness, intelligence - or whatsoever you call it - awareness, alertness. Then, in the light of this internal organ, me is revealed.
This me doesn’t belong to you. This me is your innermost center, unknown to you. This me is not an ego. This me is not against any you. This me is cosmic. This me has no boundaries. In this me everything is implied. This me is not the wave. This me is the ocean.
Feel: my thought, I-ness, internal organs.