Chapter 3: This Place Is for Innocence
He runs into his mother’s room, takes her statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in a shoe box and hides it under the bed. Then he begins to write again: “Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again.”
When the Goldberg family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked little Herschel how he liked the new place.
“It is terrific!” he says. “I have my own room, Ruthie has her own room and Sarah has her own room too. But poor Mom is still in with Dad.”
A few maxims for you to meditate on. Perhaps your dormant childlikeness may start becoming active. The first maxim:
“Smile - tomorrow will be worse.”
“Nothing makes a woman feel older than meeting a fat, bald man who knew her at school.”
“There are no important differences between men and women, but the unimportant ones are the most interesting.”
“If it can’t be done in bed, it is probably not worth doing.”
“Success for some people depends on becoming well known. For others, it depends on never being found out.”
“The seven ages of women: the right age, and the six wild guesses.”
“A woman, generally speaking, is generally speaking.”
“Old age is when you put on your glasses to think.”
“The honeymoon is over when she stops calling you ‘honey’ and starts calling you ‘listen!’”
“The honeymoon is over when a quickie before dinner is a drink.”
“The honeymoon is over when the dog brings your slippers and your wife barks at you.”
“If you are lonesome as a bachelor, take the big step - get a dog. The license is cheaper and he already has a fur coat.”
For absolutely irrational reasons, man has been dragged into seriousness. All religions have played their role in poisoning man. The people who are going on any kind of power trip are bound to destroy man’s laughter, his innocent wondering eyes, his childhood. The giggle of a child seems to be more dangerous to these people than nuclear weapons.
And in fact they are right - if the whole world starts laughing a little more, wars will be reduced. If people start loving their innocence without bothering about knowledge, life will have a beauty and a blessing of which we have become completely unaware.