Chapter 22: Aloneness Is Ultimate
Lonely people have nothing to give. Lonely people exploit each other. And naturally, when you have nothing to give and the other starts exploiting, you feel offended. You want to exploit the other and not be exploited. That’s where politics enters in: you want to give as little as possible and get as much as possible - and the other is doing the same to you, and both are creating misery for each other.
I have heard..
A man stopped his car deep down in the woods and started being very loving to the woman who was sitting by his side. But the woman said, “Stop! You don’t really know who I am. I am a prostitute, and my fee is fifty dollars.”
The man gave the woman fifty dollars, made love to her. When it was finished he sat silently at the steering wheel without moving.
The woman asked, “Now why are we waiting here? It is getting late and I want to go back home.”
And the man said, “Sorry, but I must tell you, I am a taxi driver.and the fare back is fifty dollars.”
This is what is happening in your love-relationship: somebody is a prostitute, somebody is a taxi driver. It is a bargain, it is tit-for-tat. It is continuous conflict. That’s why couples are continuously fighting. They cannot leave each other; although they go on fighting they cannot leave. In fact that’s why they are fighting - so that nobody can leave. They cannot be at ease because if they are at ease then they will be at a loss and the other will exploit more. Once you see the point you will understand the whole misery of marriage. The whole foundation of it is there.
One wonders why people don’t leave each other if they are not happy with each other? They cannot leave! They cannot live together, they cannot separate either. In fact, the very idea of separation is creating the conflict. They cripple each other so the other cannot escape, even if he or she wants to escape. They burden each other with such responsibilities, such moralities, that even if the other leaves he or she will feel guilty. His own conscience will hurt, will pinch him - that he has done something wrong. And together, all that they do is fight. Together, all they do is a continuous haggling for the price. Your marriage, your so-called love, is a marketplace. It is not love. Out of loneliness there is no possibility of love.
Out of loneliness people start meditating; out of loneliness there is no possibility of meditation either. They are feeling lonely and they want something to stuff themselves with. They need a mantra, Transcendental Meditation or all that kind of nonsense. They would like something to stuff themselves with because they are feeling empty and lonely. Repeating “Ram-Ram, Krishna-Krishna” or “Ave Maria” or anything will help them to at least forget themselves. This is not meditation! This is just covering up loneliness, emptiness. This is just covering up a black hole in yourself.