Chapter 19: At the Maximum You Disappear
“I will save you,” booms the voice. “All you have to do is prove your faith in me by letting go of the branch.”
The man looks down at the two-hundred-foot drop below him, thinks for a moment, then says, “Is there anybody else up there I can talk to?”
Our so-called idea of God is just a means to serve us. You may not have ever thought about it, that your God is nothing but a servant. He has to do this, he has to do that. The true religious man is a servant to God; he has no demand. He has only one longing: that God may use him for His purposes. He wants to become nothing but a hollow bamboo flute, so God can sing His song through him. He simply wants not to obstruct but to remain absolutely empty, so God can make of his emptiness whatsoever He wants.
This is trust.
And there is no value higher than trust, because trust is the purest form of love.
Your tears are tears of love, and your waiting for tomorrow is just a longing of the heart - but not desire, because there is no demand.
Just become more and more humble, more and more nobody, more and more spacious - because when I see you, I am not there; I have departed from myself long ago. I have allowed God to take possession of me. I have allowed him to do whatsoever he wants to do with me. I don’t know even what the next word is going to be, because it is not coming from me - it is coming only through me.
Just look at my eyes.somebody else is looking through my eyes.
Look at my gestures.they are not mine.
Look at my signatures.they are not mine.
I have lost track of myself so long ago that even if I meet myself, I don’t think I will be able to recognize him. And just being a vehicle of God, a vehicle of existence, has been such a fulfillment, such a contentment, such a benediction, that I don’t think there can be anything more, deeper, higher.
I am absolutely blessed.
I was also not the deserving one.
I have never practiced any religion, I have never been part of any religious organization, I have never entered temples, churches, or mosques. One thing from the very beginning was clear to me: that there is no way for me to find God, because I don’t know his address, I don’t know his home. In this vast universe, where am I going to find him? All that I can do is create a longing, a thirst, in every cell of my body and being, and wait.
If God wants to find me, he will find me.
Only he can find me; I cannot find him.