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Chapter 6: Try It My Way

“Well,” she says, “when my husband comes home he will see the bird and ask, ‘What is that?’ I will say, ‘A gobble bird.’ And then he will say, ‘Gobble bird, my foot!’”

Just be a little aware before you move! My blessings won’t help. Marriage is a trap and your wife sooner or later will find a gobble bird.

Mrs. Moskowitz loved chicken soup. One evening she was spooning it up when three of her husband’s friends came in. “Mrs. Moskowitz,” the spokesman said, “we are here to tell you that your husband, Izzy, has been killed in an automobile accident.”

Mrs. Moskowitz continued eating her soup. Again they told her. Still no reaction.

“Look,” said the puzzled speaker, “we are telling you that your husband is dead!”

She went right on with the soup. “Gentlemen,” she said between mouthfuls, “soon as I am finished with this chicken soup, you gonna hear some scream!”

Marriage is not love; it is something else.

A woman at the grave of her husband was wailing, “Oh, Joseph, it is four years since you have gone, but I still miss you!”

Just then Grossberg passed by and saw the woman crying. “Excuse me,” he said, “who are you mourning?”

“My husband,” she said. “I miss him so much!”

Grossberg looked at the stone and then said, “Your husband? But it says on the gravestone ‘Sacred to the memory of Golda Kreps’.”

“Oh, yes, he put everything in my name.”

So be a little aware before you are trapped! Marriage is a trap: you will be trapped by the woman and the woman will be trapped by you. It is a mutual trap. And then legally you are allowed to torture each other forever. And particularly in this country, not only for one life but for lives together! Divorce is not even allowed after you are dead. Next life also you will get the same wife, remember!

And the last question

What is going on?