Chapter 4: Above All, the Truth of Man - Beyond That, Nothing
The woman is always the one who tries to hide, and the man is always the macho who seeks. It is a challenge for him to seek. The more the woman hides, the more he is challenged and excited. Hence, you will see that the more beautiful a woman is, the more expert she is in hiding, in escaping, in making you feel as thirsty and as hungry as possible. She goes on saying no - that no is her hiding. And everybody in the whole world knows that when a woman says no she means yes - in all the languages. If she is not ready to say yes, she will not even bother to say no.
In my university, a student, who was my neighbor in the hostel, was very shy of girls. And I, for some strange reason, from my very earliest childhood have been teaching people all kinds of things. Some strange fate! People trusted me, that they could confide their weaknesses to me; and that I was not going to tell anybody, and I might be able to give them some advice - particularly because I was never a seeker of women. On the contrary, in my university life, girls were seeking me and I was hiding.
So that young man asked me, “What is the secret? We are trying to find a girl, and they all escape. And you go on escaping from them and they go on trying to find you. What is the secret?”
I said, “There is not much of a secret. One has to be the hider and one has to be the seeker. Once it has been decided that I am not going to be the seeker, then naturally they start seeking. It is just a reversal of the instincts, and because I know that one has to play the part.”
In my class there were two girls. I was the only man there, and I was as uninterested in them as one could be. Now, naturally that was a challenge; it hurt. And particularly one of the girls was really beautiful. She was a Kashmiri girl, and they are the fairest and the most beautiful in India. She had never thought.and it had never happened in her life - everybody who came in contact with her was immediately interested in her. I was the only man who was not interested at all.
We were sitting at the same desk. It was I who had to go on keeping myself close to the wall, and she went on coming closer to me. I said, “You have enough space - just leave a little buffer zone between us.”
This man asked me, “What to do, because whenever I approach them or say anything they immediately say, ‘No, we are not interested.”‘
I said, “Have you heard the saying or not, that when a girl says no she means yes? Just take it for granted that it is yes: when you hear no, understand yes, and go ahead following the yes.”
The next day I saw him; he was very wiped out. I asked, “What is the matter? What happened?”
He said, “This advice of yours I was thinking was going to work, but the girl didn’t say no, she said, ‘Shit’! And I was at a loss what to do because you had given no instructions about that.”