Chapter 14: Without Women - No Buddhas
This is how people are behaving with each other! Their minds are full of lust, greed a thousand and one motives. and they go on calling all this love.
It is not anything personal to you to be afraid of love or to feel, “Why it is so hard?” It is everybody’s problem, but it has been created by a long, stupid conditioning. Instead of helping you to become clear about what love is, instead of helping you to love without any motivation, you have been taught to love with motivation. You have been taught to love in an artificial way.
The mother says to you, “Love me because I am your mother,” as if love is a logical proposition: “Because I am your mother, therefore you have to love me.” And the poor child feels at a loss; he cannot understand - how to love? You may be the mother or the father; that does not mean that love will arise inevitably. If it was arising inevitably towards the mother and towards the father and the brothers and the sisters and the relatives, then there would have been no need to tell anybody to love your mother, your father! It does not arise naturally; it has to be cultivated.
And the child is certainly helpless; he starts pretending. He becomes a politician from the very beginning - he starts learning diplomacy. He becomes a follower of Machiavelli. He starts pretending to love the mother because he needs the mother; he cannot survive without the mother. He smiles at the father. That smile is false; it is not coming from his heart. But this is how from the very beginning his love is poisoned.
Later on we say, “Love - it is your wife. Love - this is your husband.” We go saying this stupid thing to everybody: “Love - because.therefore.”
Love is not a logical proposition; either it is there or it is not there. If it is there, help to grow it; if it is not there, accept it. There is no other way. But don’t create an artificial phenomenon.
But the mother has lived without love; she has not been loved by the husband. He was loving her because she was his wife, because he had to love; it was a social duty that he had to perform, it was a formality. So she is hankering for love; she starts exploiting the child.
Many women are interested in children not because they want to be mothers but just because it is easier to exploit the child for love than anybody else, because he will be absolutely dependent on you. To be a mother is a rare phenomenon. To hanker for children is a totally different thing; it has nothing to do with being a mother. That hankering comes from a totally different source.