Chapter 24: Whenever the Ego Gains, You Are the Loser
For some time now you have been saying that you are our friend and we are friends. I’m having difficulty in truly getting it. Osho, to me you are my most beloved master. Please show me where I am missing.
The question is from Vivek. I can understand her difficulty. The same will be the difficulty of all those who have come close to me, loved me, received me in their hearts as a master.
I have been saying that I am your friend, and you are my friend for a very strange reason that may not be obvious to you. There was another question from Milarepa - why are a few sannyasins feeling very resentful towards you, angry with you?
This has been one of the historical things, that amongst disciples there are always a few who are accidental. Just the wind was blowing this way and they arrived. They saw a tremendous energy in the disciples, and they became greedy. But it was not a search for truth, it was not a search for love; it was simple greed. They also wanted to be spiritually powerful.
They became sannyasins, they became disciples, but the distance between me and them remained the same. They could never become my intimate people. They could never become my people. Even though they were with me, deep down they were resentful, angry. I wanted them to drop their resentfulness, to drop their anger. It was not my problem, it was their problem, and I wanted to help them in every possible way.
It was for this simple reason that I had said, “I am your friend, you are my friend.” Those who were not really with me were immensely happy that now their status and my status was the same. And amongst these were people that you would never have imagined.. Just the other day I had the message from a sannyasin that Teertha is saying to people that my state and his state are now the same - we are friends. For this he was hanging around for fifteen years. Rajen is saying to people, “Now I am no longer a disciple but a friend, and I have the same status.”
These were the people that I wanted to get rid of as peacefully, as lovingly as possible. But those who had loved me felt hurt - because they have loved me as a disciple, and to be a disciple is something so valuable that who cares to be a friend?
There is a story in Gautam Buddha’s life:
One of his closest disciples, Sariputra, was found to be not meditating enough. Even people who had come after Sariputra had gone deeper into meditation, people of lesser genius and lesser intelligence. Buddha called Sariputra one morning and said, “What is the matter?”