Chapter 59: Watch from the Hill
It is said, somewhere Emerson has written, that even the greatest warrior is a coward before his wife. Even a Napoleon is a coward, because the wife knows that he needs her strength, he needs her in order to be himself. He depends on her. When he comes back from the war, from the fighting, he is trembling, afraid. He rests in her, he relaxes in her. She consoles him; he becomes just like a child. Every husband is a child before the wife. And the wife? - she depends on the husband. She lives through him. She cannot live without him; he is her life.
This is a mutual deception. Both are afraid - death is there. They both try to love each other and forget death. Lovers become, or appear to be, fearless. Lovers even sometimes can face death very fearlessly, but that is just appearance.
Our love is part of fear - just to escape from it. Real love happens when there is no fear - when death has disappeared, when you know you never begin and you are never going to end. Don’t think it. You can think it, because of the fear. You can think, “Yes, I know I am not going to end, there is no death, the soul is immortal.” You can think because of fear - that will not help.
If you move deep in meditation it will happen. Fear will disappear, because you know yourself endlessly. You go on spreading endlessly - back into the past, forward into the future, and this very moment, this present moment, in the depth of it you are there. You simply are - you never begin, you are never going to end.
Feel this illimitably - infinitely.