Chapter 10: I Am in Favor of Love
First, don’t move with a woman or man you don’t love. Don’t move just out of whim; don’t move just out of lust. Find out whether the desire to be committed to a person has arisen in you. Are you ripe enough to make a deep contact? - because that contact is going to change your whole life. And when you make the contact, make it truthfully. Don’t hide from your beloved or your lover - be true. Drop all false faces that you have learned to wear.
Drop all masks. Be true. Reveal your whole heart; be nude. Between two lovers there should not be any secrets, otherwise love is not. Drop all secrecy. It is politics; secrecy is politics. It should not be there in love. You should not hide anything. Whatsoever arises in your heart should remain transparent to your beloved, and whatsoever arises in her heart should remain transparent to you. You should become two transparent beings to each other. By and by, you will see that through each other you are growing to a higher unity.
By meeting the woman outside, by really meeting, loving her, committing yourself to her being, dissolving into her, melting into her, you will, by and by, start meeting the woman that is within you; you will start meeting the man that is within you. The outer woman is just a path to the inner woman; and the outer man is also just a path to the inner man. The real orgasm happens inside you when your inner man and woman meet. That is the meaning of the Hindu symbolism of ardhanarishwar. You must have seen Shiva: half man, half woman. Each man is half man, half woman; each woman is half woman, half man. It has to be so, because half of your being comes from your father and half of your being comes from your mother. You are both. An inner orgasm, an inner meeting, an inner union is needed. But to reach that inner union you will have to find a woman outside who responds to the inner woman, who vibrates your inner being; and your inner woman who is lying fast asleep, awakes. Through the outer woman, you have to meet the inner woman - and the same for the man.
So if the relationship continues for a long period, it will be better, because that inner woman needs time to be awakened. As it is happening in the West - hit-and-run affairs - the inner woman has no time, the inner man has no time to rise and become awake. By the time there is a stirring, that woman is gone.another woman, with another vibration, with another vibe. And of course, if you go on changing your woman and your man you will become neurotic, because so many things, so many sounds, and so many different qualities of vibrations will enter into your being that you will be at a loss to find your inner woman and man. It will be difficult. And the possibility is that you may become an addict to change. You will just start enjoying change. Then you are lost.
The outer woman is just a way to the inner woman, and the outer man is the way to the inner man. And the ultimate Yoga, the ultimate unio mystica happens inside you. And when that happens, then you are free of all women and all men. Then you are free of man and womanhood. Then suddenly, you go beyond; then you are neither.
This is what transcendence is. This is what brahmacharya is. Then you attain again your pure virginity; your original nature is again claimed. In Patanjali’s terminology, it is kaivalya.