Chapter 20: Slipping into the Vertical
I must be a lunatic because in the group I was being given all the love I wanted, and I was giving all I could, but at the same time I was screaming my lungs out! I had exactly what I wanted at that moment and I chose to be miserable. But this evening I was watching you.and suddenly I thought something like I’m really in the presence of God.
You are.. It has been good. And everybody is a lunatic.
The moment you understand it, you are going beyond it; then the first step towards sanity has been taken. People never realize that they are mad, and because they don’t, they remain mad. Not only do they not realize it but if you say it to them they will defend themselves. They will argue and try to say it is you who is mad, not they. Once you realize that you are a lunatic, sanity has started; it is already on the wing. By the very realization that you are insane, you have dropped it.
This insight has been very very meaningful; don’t lose it.
And this is also good - that you realized that in a situation where there was love, where you were being given all that you needed and were sharing all you could, that you were crying and making yourself miserable. Misery has nothing to do with any outer cause; it is your inner decision. If you want to remain miserable you can - whatever the situation. And vice versa is also true. If you decide to be happy, rejoicing, celebrating, you can be, irrespective of the circumstances.
Circumstances are irrelevant - the real thing is you, your attitude. All the love in the world can be given to you and if you decide to be miserable, you will remain miserable. And there may be nothing in the world, absolutely nothing, but one can be happy, tremendously happy for no reason at all - because happiness and misery are your decisions.
It takes much time to realize this, because it is very very comfortable for the ego to think that others are making you miserable. The ego goes on making impossible conditions, and it says that first these conditions have to be fulfilled and only then can you be happy. It says how can you be happy in such an ugly world, with such ugly people, in such an ugly situation?
Good that you could see and you could laugh. If you see yourself rightly you will laugh about yourself. It is ridiculous, simply ridiculous.what we are doing is absurd. Nobody is forcing us to do it, but we go on doing it - and crying for help. And you can simply come out of it; it is your own game - to become miserable, and to ask for sympathy and love and everything.
If you are happy, love will be flowing towards you; there is no need to ask. It is one of the basic laws. Just as water flows downwards, and fire flows upwards, love flows towards happiness.. happinesswards.
And this is the problem: people are miserable and love cannot flow towards them, so they make that a cause for their misery and they say we are bound to be miserable because love is not coming to us. Then they become more miserable, so even less love comes to them.