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Chapter 13: Just Ordinary Friday

The gardener is very grateful and the two of them shake hands. As the president turns to go, the gardener picks up his shovel and with a mighty blow, knocks Reagan flat. Lying on the ground, dazed and astonished, Ronald Reagan watches in amazement as the gardener wags a finger at him and says, “Now, you won’t forget, will you?”

Just don’t take it seriously.

.2017.it is too far.

Miss Goodbody tells her class that they are going to play a spelling game. Telling little Bobby to stand up, she asks, “What does your father do for a living? Say it nice and clearly. And then spell it out.”

“My father is a baker,” says Bobby. “B-a-k-e-r.”

“Good,” says Miss Goodbody, “now Cecily.”

“Doctor: d-o-c-t-o-r,” says Cecily smugly and sits down.

“Excellent,” says Miss Goodbody, “Now Herbie.”

Herbie stands up and says, “Shipbuilder: s-h-i-t.”

“No, Herbie,” says Miss Goodbody, “try again.”

“Shipbuilder: s-h-i-t.”

“No, no,” cries Miss Goodbody, “go to the blackboard and write it out and they will see your mistake!”

As Herbie heads for the front of the class, Little Ernie jumps up and says, “My dad is a gambler: g-a-m-b-l-e-r. And I will bet you five bucks that idiot puts shit on the board.”

After three weeks of married life, Fagan Finkelstein makes the mistake of taking his young wife Rosa to one of the favorite discos from his bachelor days.

Rosa gets angry, as first the coat-check girl, then the barmaid, then the waitress - all of them pretty - welcome Fagan with great affection. But she gets really mad when a gorgeous blonde walks up to the table, sits for a moment in Fagan’s lap and kisses him on the cheek and says, “I will see you another night, darling, when you are not so busy.”

Rosa gets up from the table and heads for the door, closely followed by a protesting Fagan. They climb into a taxi with Fagan desperately trying to explain that the past is all behind him, and he loves only her.

“Please, listen to me,” pleads Fagan.

“No,” shouts Rosa, “I will not.”

The taxi driver looks round and says, “She is no good, Mr. Fink. Shall we go back and get another?”