Chapter 7: Swimming with the River
The first question:
Does there ever come a moment when one knows why things are this way and not that way?
No, that moment never comes; that moment cannot come, knowledge is impossible. Life is a mystery - the more you know about it the more mysterious it becomes. You cannot reduce it to a formula, you cannot reduce it to theories. It never becomes a doctrine. The deeper you go, the deeper you feel ignorant. But that ignorance is blissful, that not-knowing is utterly beautiful, it is a benediction because in that not-knowing your ego dies. That not-knowing becomes a grave for your ego. Wonder arises: Ah! And a great joy..
Knowledge is a killjoy. Knowledgeable people are not joyous people, knowledgeable people become serious; they are burdened, their heart dances no more, only their head goes on growing out of all proportion. It becomes like a canceric growth - their whole body disappears, all their limbs shrink and there is only the head. They become head-heavy.
When knowledge disappears you are utterly at peace with life and existence. Knowledge divides. Let me repeat it: Knowledge divides you from existence because the knower cannot be the known, the knower is separate from the known. And because of that separation there is continuous anguish, anxiety; something is continuously missing. Only a not-knower can become one with life. So not-knowing unites, knowledge divides.
In a state of not-knowing you start melting with the trees and mountains and stars. You don’t know where you end and where they begin, you don’t know anything. You are again a child collecting seashells on the beach, again a child collecting flowers, wild flowers, again a child, your eyes full of wonder. Through that wonder you start feeling what existence is - not knowing but feeling. You start loving that which is - not knowing but loving. And through feeling and loving you start living for the first time. Who cares, who bothers, about knowledge?
You ask, “Does that moment ever come where one knows why things are the way they are, and not in any other way?”