Chapter 15: Wake Up! This Is a Dream
And this is the way you have understood many times, this is not the first time. Many times you have turned back from the very doorstep of truth. Many times you have found the door and it was only a matter of knocking when again you have moved away towards the wall. This is where an error is made, that whatever is understood is not immediately translated into life.
In this context it is worth remembering that if someone calls you names you become angry immediately, but if someone gives you an understanding of truth you do not begin meditations immediately. If anything wrong is to be done we do it immediately; if something good is to be done we think about it. Both of these are very deep tricks of the mind, because whatsoever is to be done can be done only if it is done immediately - whether it is a question of being angry or doing meditation it does not matter. We want to express the anger, hence we do it immediately. We do not even wait for a moment, because if we wait we will not be able to do it.
If somebody calls you names and you tell him that you will come back and reply to him in twenty-four hours’ time, you will never be able to reply at all. Twenty-four hours is a long time - if you wait even for twenty-four moments in silent consideration perhaps you will not have any desire to become angry. Perhaps you may laugh, perhaps you may see the foolishness of that person, or perhaps you may even see that the names he was calling you were right. So you think it is not right to lose time, it is necessary to retaliate in anger at once when the abusing words strike. As far as repenting is concerned, you will do that later on.
Have you noticed that all angry persons later repent? They repent after the act of anger. Had they waited a little the repentance would have come before the anger, and then the anger would never have happened. One who repents after anger will never be able to become free of anger. Only the one whose repentance precedes the anger can become free of anger, because whatsoever has already happened cannot be undone.
But where is the gap? There you called me names and here I become angry. Where is the time gap between the two so that I may think, consider and reflect, so that I may look into all the vows I took in the past not to become angry again, so that I can search in my past to see how many times I have already repented after becoming angry? But there is not that much opportunity, time or space. There somebody called me names and here the fire of anger is spitting.
Create a little gap and anger will become difficult. However, we do not create a gap when it is a question of anger, but we do create a gap when it comes to meditation. So meditation becomes difficult.
When there is an impact of something that is good and right, we do not immediately engage ourselves in doing it, we wait. That intervening time spoils everything. It is necessary to strike while the iron is hot. While we are thinking about it the iron becomes cold and then it brings no results.