Chapter 9: The Uncorrupted Presence
One day the Rabbi of Zans
was standing at the window and looking into the street.
Seeing a passerby, he knocked on the windowpane
and signed to the man to come into the house.
When the stranger entered the room, Rabbi Hayyim asked him,
“Tell me, if you found a purse full of ducats,
would you return it to its owner?”
“Rabbi,” said the man, “if I knew the owner
I should return the purse without a moment’s delay.”
“You are a fool,” said the Rabbi of Zans.
Then he resumed his position at the window,
called another passerby, and put the same question to him.
“I am not such a fool as to give up a purse full of money
that has come my way,” said the man.
“You’re a bad lot,” said the Rabbi of Zans,
and called in a third man.
He replied, “Rabbi, how can I know
on what rung I shall be when I find the purse,
or whether I shall succeed in fending off the evil urge?
Perhaps it will get the better of me
and I shall appropriate what belongs to another.
But perhaps God, blessed be he,
will help me to fight it and in that case
I shall return what I have found to its rightful owner.”
“Those are good words,” cried the zaddik.
“You are a true sage.”
Man is a machine. He is born, lives, loves, dies, but not as a man. He is born, lives, loves, dies just like a machine. He is not conscious. Everything happens; he is not the doer, he has no will of his own. But he believes that he is the doer, he believes that he has a willpower, a will of his own. He believes that he is. This is the greatest stupidity possible, the base of all ignorance. Because of this belief, he never becomes aware of the true situation.
Man, ordinarily, is only in two states: asleep with closed eye and asleep with open eyes, and continuously an undercurrent of dreaming goes on.
To say that “I am” is not true in the ordinary state of humanity, because there are many “I”s within you. You don’t have a single “I,” you don’t have a single center of reference. One mood comes and goes, another mood comes and goes, and with each mood, a separate “I” dominates you.
When you are angry it is not the same “I” as it was when you were in love. A totally different personality takes possession of you. And many times you suspect it - many times you have been angry and you have said, “In spite of me, I was angry.” What do you mean when you say “in spite of me”? Then who was angry? You have suspected rightly that the “I” that you are ordinarily identified with was not in power; somebody else - a vagrant “I,” a vagabond “I,” an unusual “I” - dominated you.
Just a few days before, a sannyasin came to me and she was very happy that she has fallen in love and that she has found a love - she was ecstatic! And she asked, would I give her a tantra technique so that she can move in deeper orgasmic states of love.