Chapter 19: Deeper and Deeper into the Mysterious, the Miraculous
In fact, when all the mystifications of the religions disappear and you suddenly find yourself just in a moment of understanding, life is an open book, but tremendously mysterious. When mystifications are no longer there, then there is mystery. Then each moment of your life is a mystery, and every moment of your life goes on leading you deeper and deeper into the mysterious, the miraculous.
All the religions have committed a great crime against humanity. They have tried to explain to you what is not explainable. In their effort to explain to you the mystery of life, they have really explained it away. By inventing a God they destroyed the mystery of creativity. They created a God as creator; they continually conditioned you that existence is the creation. But existence is not schizophrenic, it is not split in two - the creator and the creation - it is simply creativity.
Hence I say to you that sometimes poets, singers, dancers, have come very close to the mystery - but I don’t recall any saint, theologian, philosopher having come close to the mystery of existence. In fact, their whole attempt is to demystify existence. They are trying to put before you a certain dogma which explains everything and leaves nothing for you. Those are mere words, empty, ugly.
I don’t want to give you words; you are already burdened too much. I want to take all words from you. And I am using words for a very strange reason - because if you have a thorn in your foot, you have to use another thorn to take it out. I am destroying your words by my words, and giving you a chance continuously to listen to the pauses, the silent moments.
You are right that you feel you understand my words - anybody can do that. I don’t use big words, I don’t use any jargon. And you are also right that the feeling arises that you don’t understand me at all. You will have to choose. Either you go on understanding my words and become a great pundit, a scholar.and a scholar is farthest away from existence. You may become very knowledgeable, but your knowledge is just an effort to cover up your ignorance.
But if you choose the silent periods, then suddenly all the mysteries of life become available to you - not as explanations; you don’t get reality as an answer, you get it as an experience. And with that mystery you also become a mystery.
This is not ignorance, this is innocence.
You become the child.
I have attempted suicide a number of times, and I feel really attracted to death. This disturbs me, but at the same time gives me joy. Will you say something about it?
This is great! One can commit suicide only once, and you have attempted many times - and you are still alive. Those attempts were not true, they were all bogus, and you knew it even then.