Chapter 44: Session 44
I said, “Okay.” And I have not entered into any organization. I have kept my promise. I am not even a part, I mean a member of neo-sannyas. I cannot be, because of a promise given to someone whom I loved. I can only be amongst you. But howsoever I hide myself, I am a foreigner, even amongst you; just because of a promise that I’m going to fulfill to the very end.
“Second,” he said, “you should not speak against the establishment.”
I said, “Listen Masto, this is your own, and not Pagal Baba’s, and I am absolutely sure of that.”
He laughed, and said, “Yes, this is mine. I was just trying to check whether you could sort out the wheat from the chaff.”
I said, “Masto, there is no need to bother about that. You just tell me what you want to say because you said there is a very great hurry. I don’t see the hurry, but if you say it - I love you too - I believe it. You just tell me what is absolutely necessary, otherwise we can sit silently for as long as you allow.”
He remained silent for a while, and then said, “Okay, it is better that we sit silently because you know what Baba has told me. He must have told you already.”
I said, “I have known him so deeply that there is no need to tell me. Even if he came back I would say, ‘Don’t bother, just be with me.’ So it is good that you decided, but keep to your promise.”
He said, “What promise?”
I said, “It is just a simple promise: being silent with me as long as you want to be here.”
He was there for six hours more, and he kept his promise. Not a single word passed through us, but much more than words can convey. The only thing that he said to me when he left for the station was, “Can I now say the last thing? - because I may not see you again.” And he knew he was going forever.
I said, “Certainly.”
He said, “Only this, that if you need any help from me you can always inform this address. If I am alive they will immediately tell me.” And he gave me an address which I would not have believed had anything to do with Masto.
I said, “Masto!”
He said, “Don’t ask, just inform this man.”
“But,” I said, “this man is Morarji Desai. I cannot inform him, and you know it.”
He said, “I know it, but this is the only man who soon will be in power, and will be able to reach me anywhere in the Himalayas.”
I said, “Do you think this is the man to succeed Jawaharlal?”
He said, “No. Another man should succeed him, but that man will not live long, and then Indira will succeed, and after that, this man. I’m giving you this address because these are the years when you will need me most, otherwise if Jawaharlal is there, or Indira is there..”