Chapter 4: Your Original Face
Why should you go to a priest if you don’t hate yourself? What is the need? When you hate you feel guilty; when you hate you feel some transformation is needed; when you hate you think some help is needed: somebody is needed to change you, to make you lovable, worth loving. Your parents say to you, “You are wrong, this is wrong, that is wrong!” They go on continuously saying, “Don’t do this, don’t do that!”
I have heard:
A small child wanted to play with the sand on the beach. His mother said, “No, because the sand is wet and you will spoil your clothes.” Then the small child wanted to go near the water. His mother said, “No, absolutely no! It is slippery and you may fall there.” Then the small child wanted to run and jump around, and his mother said, “No! You may get lost in the crowd.” Then the child asked for ice cream, because the ice cream vendor was near. His mother said, “No, because that always creates a problem with your throat and it is bad for your health.” And then she said to a person who was standing by, “Have you ever seen such a neurotic child?”
And the child is not neurotic; the mother is neurotic. To play with sand is not neurosis, to go near the water is not neurosis, to run around is not neurosis, but a neurotic mind always says no. A neurotic mind cannot say yes because a neurotic mind cannot allow freedom to himself or herself, so how can a neurotic mind allow freedom to you? This mother, and almost all mothers are like that, and all fathers. Remember, when you become a mother or you become a father, they are all like that. Freedom is killed and the child is forced, by and by, to feel that he is neurotic, he is wrong; whatsoever he proposes to do he is told no.
I have heard about a small child who went to school for the first day, came back, and his mother asked, “What did you learn there?”
The child said, “For the first time I learnt that my name is not Don’t. I always feel that Don’t is my name: ‘Don’t do that, don’t go there, don’t be like that!’ So I was thinking that my name is Don’t. In school I learned that that is not my name.”
If you are neurotic and this whole society is neurotic, there is a chain of neurosis from one generation to another. It goes on and on, and up to now no society has been able to create a non-neurotic society or a non-neurotic age. Only sometimes have a few individuals been able to get out of the prison, but that too very rarely happens because the prison is so big and has such strong foundations. The establishment is so old, it is supported by the whole past, and when a small child is born, it is almost impossible to think that he will be able to be healthy and not neurotic.