Chapter 16: Before Seeking
Those three years we have lived, and in those three years a thousand and one things must have happened. But they have not left any impact, any footprints on our memory system; the memory system was not ready. The child has every capacity to function as an individual; he just needs a little time for the whole mechanism to be ready to function.
The sage has lived as a mind, suffered as a mind, has gone through the whole hell of the mind, and has learned the lesson that unless you go beyond the mind life is going to remain a continuous agony.
Mind is agony.
Once this experience settles deeply in you, out of your own experience arises a new effort, a new beginning, a new birth.the birth of meditation. Just as at the age of nine months the body is born, at the age of three the mind is born. Somewhere - it depends how intelligently you are watching your experiences, how you are looking at the sources of your misery and suffering - if you are intelligent enough, perhaps by the age of thirty-five you may start feeling a deep urge to go beyond the mind.
The seven years between thirty-five and forty-two prepare you to take the quantum leap. If everything goes naturally, unobstructed and unhindered by the society, by organized religions, then the age of forty-two will be the third birth, the birth of meditation, a new beginning beyond mind.
It does not happen to everyone at forty-two, because no society wants it to happen. It is the most dangerous thing as far as the society is concerned, that people should start going beyond the mind, because going beyond the mind means going beyond the social order, going beyond the organized church, going beyond the scriptures, going beyond all vested interests, going beyond slavery, going beyond any kind of exploitation, oppression, and attaining to your dignity as an authentic consciousness.
This consciousness cannot be imprisoned, it cannot be killed, it cannot be burned. Even nuclear weapons are absolutely impotent as far as this consciousness is concerned.
No society wants individuals so powerful in themselves. Every society wants you to remain dependent on it.
Your independence is being curtailed in every possible way. And because your independence, your individuality is being curtailed, death comes before meditation comes. Life has been a wastage. Unless you attain to meditation, you have not really lived.
I have heard about a man who only became aware that he was alive when he died. Suddenly an awakening.”My God, I have been alive, but now it is too late.” Perhaps this may be true not just about one man - it may be true about every man who has died without meditation. Dead people don’t tell stories; just this one man was an exception. There are a few exceptional men in the world always.
While you are alive you are not really conscious how precious life is. In fact it is one of the tricks of the mind: whatever you have, you don’t recognize its value unless you lose it.