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Chapter 5: Perfectly Imperfect

A few minutes later, the financier again intoned loudly, “Cleanliness is next to godliness - John Wesley.” Still he was ignored.

Finally, the visibly irritated financier shouted in the man’s face, “Cleanliness is next to godliness - John Wesley!”

To which the skid-row denizen calmly replied, “Screw you! - Tennessee Williams.”

You can ask me any nonsense thing, and I will give you a bigger nonsense. I am an expert at that - the only expertise I can claim! And the more nonsensical a question is the more I enjoy it, because it expects a more nonsensical answer. If you ask something crazy that means you are asking for something crazy, and I am the last one to be defeated!

A man went into a restaurant and ordered his breakfast. When the waitress brought his coffee, he observed that her thumb was stuck in the coffee. When the scrambled eggs arrived, again he observed that her thumb was in the eggs.

This was too much, and he said, “Lady, I didn’t say anything when I saw your thumb in my coffee, but now I see that your thumb is in my eggs, too.”

“Well,” said the waitress, “I have a painful arthritis in my thumb joint, and the doctor told me to put it into something warm and this would ease the pain.”

The man was angry and said, “Well, why don’t you stick it up your ass?”

“Oh, I do, I do,” answered the waitress, “but only when I’m in the kitchen!”

Enough for today.