Chapter 59: Watch from the Hill
This too is not to be made a thought; remember that continuously. Feel it - this is mine, this existence - and then you will feel gratitude. How can you thank God? Your thankfulness is superficial, formal. And look what a misery.even with God we are formal. How can you be grateful? You have not known anything to be grateful for.
If you can feel yourself rooted in existence, merged in it, overflowing with it, and allow even dancing with it, then you will feel, “This is mine. This existence belongs to me. This whole mysterious universe belongs to me. This whole existence has been existing for me. It has created me. I am a flower of it.”
This consciousness that has happened to you is the greatest flower that has happened to the universe. And for millions and millions of years this earth was preparing for you to exist.
This is mine and this is this. To feel, “This is what life is, this is this - this suchness. I was unnecessarily worried. I was unnecessarily a beggar, unnecessarily thinking in terms of begging. I am the master.”
When you are rooted, you are one with the whole, and the existence exists for you. You are not a beggar; you become an emperor suddenly.
This is this.
even in such know illimitably.
And while feeling this, don’t create a limit to it. Feel it illimitably. Don’t create a boundary to it; there is none. It ends nowhere. The world begins nowhere; the world ends nowhere. Existence has no beginning and no end. You also don’t have any beginning; you also don’t have any end.
Beginning and end are because of the mind - mind has a beginning and mind has an end. Go backwards, travel backwards into your life: there comes a moment where everything stops - there is a beginning. You can remember back to when you were three years of age, or, at the most, two years of age - that is rare - but then memory stops. You can travel backwards to when you were two years of age. What does it mean? And you cannot remember anything previous to that, previous to that age of two years. Suddenly there is a blank, you don’t know anything.
Do you remember anything about your birth? Do you know anything about the nine months in your mother’s womb? You were, but the mind was not there. Mind started around the age of two; that’s why you can remember back to that age. Then there is no mind, memory stops. Mind has a beginning, mind has an end, but you are beginningless.
If in deep meditation, in such meditation you can come to feel existence, then there is no mind - a beginningless, endless flow of energy, of cosmic force; an infinite ocean around you, and you are just a wave in it. The wave has a beginning and an end - the ocean has none. And once you know that you are not the wave but the ocean, all misery has disappeared.