Chapter 30: Just a Pure Silence with No Feeling of “I”
And you cannot be an idiot any more. You are no more, and you cannot go back either. There is no way ahead, there is no way back. Listening about this state, one may feel - it sounds that one may feel utterly stuck, because one goes on thinking that one is because you have not known a moment when existence is and you are not. But before that, you can go on learning.
And it is not easy to reach to that ultimate point, so don’t be worried.
I’m not. I don’t think I’m very close [inaudible].
We just go on learning bicycles, helicopters..
There is no harm. And that point is not so easy to reach, but some day one has to take that challenge too. That is the greatest challenge, as if a dew drop slipping from a lotus leaf into the ocean. In one sense the dew drop disappears; in another sense it becomes the very ocean, it becomes oceanic. When the dew drop is slipping from the lotus leaf, there is a natural hesitation, that “I am going to disappear into this vast ocean. There is still time, if I can hold.” But once the dew drop has melted into the ocean, merged, there is tremendous joy because now the other side of the story opens up: now the dew drop is no more there, but an infinite ocean.
Man disappears at one point. His separation from existence melts away at one point, but that is not a death, that is really the greatest orgasmic experience possible - because one becomes one with the whole. And when one is one with the whole, where you can grow? What can you learn? Where can you go?
It seems like new things are always happening.
New things are always happening, but not to me. To me the last thing has happened. On the outside new things are always happening. You have come to see me for the first time, this is a new thing. But as far as I’m concerned, the greatest and the last thing has happened thirty years before; since then nothing has happened. Millions of new things have been happening all around, but at the very center of the cyclone nothing has happened. And I’m talking about the center of the cyclone. It is absolutely silent, absolutely still, no movement, no sound; but a tremendous ecstasy and a tremendous benediction.
But there is no point in being worried about it. You just go on searching and learning. When some day it happens, please remember me.