Chapter 12: You Are Responsible!
A feeling type can move, and Chaitanya moved. Ramakrishna was the feeling type. In the end he moved to Vedanta. The whole life he was a worshipper, a devotee, of the Mother, and then in the end he became a disciple of a Vedanta teacher, Totapuri, and was initiated into a nonfeeling world. Many people said to Totapuri, “How can you initiate this man, Ramakrishna? He is a feeling type! For him love is the only thing. He can pray, he can worship, he can dance, he can go into ecstasy. He cannot move to nonattachment, he cannot move to the realm beyond feelings.”
Totapuri said, “That’s why he can move, and I will initiate him. You cannot move; he will move.”
So the second criterion to decide: if you can move to the opposite, you belong. See what the beginning is, and then the movement towards the opposite; these are two things. Search within constantly. Only for twenty-one days, continuously note these two things: first how you react - what the beginning is, the seed, the start - and then to what opposite you can move easily. To nonthinking? To nonfeeling? To nonaction? And within twenty-one days you can come to an understanding of your type - the predominant one, of course.
The other two will be there like shadows - mm? - because pure types never exist. They cannot. All the three are parts; only one is more significant than the others. And once you know what type you are your path becomes very easy and smooth. Then you don’t waste your energy. Then you don’t dissipate your energy unnecessarily on paths which don’t belong to you. So, really, to find out one’s type is a basic requirement for spiritual search. Otherwise you can go on doing many things and you create only confusion, you create only a disintegration.
This is what Krishna means in the Gita by swabhav - the type, that which is your nature. So he says it is better to die unsuccessful in one’s own type than to succeed in another’s type. It is better to be a failure, even to be a failure according to one’s own type, than to be a success according to someone else’s type, because that success will become a burden, just a weight, a dead weight. Even to fail according to your own nature is good because even that failure will enrich you. You will be matured through it, you will know much through it, you will become much through it. So even failure is good if it is according to one’s own type.
Find out to which type you belong or which type is predominant. Then according to that type begin to work. The work will be easy and the goal nearer.