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Chapter 5: Why Not Shoot Yourself?

5. Do not go naked in Britain unless you are unemployed and want to be imprisoned.

6. Do not initiate Italian disciples, otherwise your ashram, commune, flat or whatever space you have got will become a restaurant.

7. Do not give the one-hand-clapping koan in Poland, otherwise your disciple will clap you on the shoulder and proudly say: “I have found it!”

8. Do not talk about samadhi, otherwise someone will ask you if it is a new competitive sport.

9. Do not tell any jokes, otherwise your disciples will say “We have already heard it from Osho.”

10. Please, do not go to India, the market is already full.

“So,” the neo-buddha asked, “what can I say? Where can I go?” The master replied, “Shut up and sit down.”

It is a totally different time and a totally different mind has come into existence.

If you try to understand these simple parables with your mind, yes, you can enjoy them for the moment, but that’s all; they will not help you in your spiritual growth in any way. But if you can put your knowledge aside, if you can relive the innocence that man has lost, that you have tasted in your childhood, then a story like this can be tremendously enlightening.

Go very meditatively into it. And whenever I say “go meditatively into it” I mean don’t use the mind, don’t go mentally in it. Put the mind aside - that’s what meditation is - as if you don’t know anything. It will be “as if” in the beginning, but once you have tasted the beauty of innocence and the understanding that happens through it, the “as if “ will become a reality, an authentic reality; it will not be an “as if” any more.

Shih-kung was a hunter before he was ordained as a Zen monk under Ma Tzu.

Even in those days there were scholars, priests, pundits, professors. They are not mentioned; things like this are not told about them. But a hunter lives in a more authentic way. He lives with the trees and the animals and the earth and the sky, the wind and the rain and the sun. He lives close to the nature. And the person who lives close to nature is in an unknown way, unconscious way, close to God, close to truth.

Because he lives close to nature he has a certain vague awareness of the presence called God. Of course it is vague, it is not crystal-clear, otherwise he will become enlightened. But he senses it intuitively, instinctively. He is not as dead as a professor, he is not as dull as a scholar; he is alive. He has to be very alive because his work is with very lively creatures.

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