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OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   Unio Mystica, Vol. 2
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Chapter 4: A Buddhafield in Spring

Your question, Seeman, is nothing but a defense. You want to have all the opportunities that are given to those who have surrendered in trust, yet you don’t want to surrender, yet you don’t want to participate. You want all the benefits without paying for them in any way.

You say, “In yesterday’s lecture you said that programs, names and labels and becoming crystallized and identified are hindrances and liabilities.”

Yes, they are. So, when you take sannyas, if you ever take it, don’t become identified with the name, think of it as a utility. And don’t become identified with the orange clothes, think of it as a gesture.

And you say, “This is so for me.”

This is not so for you. If it was so, truth would have already happened to you. Then what is hindering the truth? If you have dropped all labels, all programs, all names, all labels - if you are not identified with anything - then what is hindering the truth from happening? In fact you are being very clever and cunning. You are identified with your name, you are identified with the programs, you are identified with your past and all the conditionings that the past has given to you. But listening to me, this idea felt very good, comfortable - so you need not change anything, you can simply say, “This is so for me.” If this is so for you, why are you here in the first place?

You say, “I don’t want a label.”

Who is this “I” who does not want a label? It itself is a label - and the deepest label!

You say, “I want to be vast, unlimited.”

Who is this “I” who wants to be vast and unlimited? This is the greatest ego trip! You can never become vast and unlimited. When you have disappeared, there is vastness, there is unlimitedness - but it will not belong to you, remember. You will not be able to claim, “I am vast.” If you are there, there is no vastness possible. The “I” is bound to remain limited. The idea of the ego can never be unlimited; the idea of the ego keeps you separate from the infinity of existence.

You say, “I want to be vast, unlimited.”

Your ego wants to go on the trip of being infinite and vast. Sannyas simply means that you drop your ego trips. You say, “I don’t want to be anybody, I don’t want to be anybody in particular, I don’t want to have any goal.” The goal of infinity, the goal of vastness, are all in the future. And whenever there is a goal, the ego is strengthened.

The ego exists through goals; what name you give to the goal does not matter. You can call it money, you can call it power, you can call it prestige, or you can now call it infinity, vastness, godliness - it is the same ego trip. Now it has become even more subtle and more poisonous, because the more subtle the ego is, the more dangerous it is.

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