Chapter 8: Trust Is Unaddressed
Listening to me when I say don’t cling to the master, your ego starts feeling very good. It says, “Perfectly true. Why should I trust anybody? Why should I surrender to anybody? Exactly, this is the right thing!” That’s what has happened to J. Krishnamurti’s disciples. For forty, fifty years he has been teaching, and there are many who have listened their whole lives to him, and nothing has happened - because he goes on insisting that there is no master, no disciple. He goes on throwing you upon yourself. Even before you have a taste of trust, he goes on throwing you upon yourself. Before you start clinging he’s alert, very alert. He will not allow you to approach him. This is one extreme. Your ego feels very good that you don’t have any master, that you don’t have to surrender to anybody. You? - and surrendering? It does not look good; looks like humiliation. You feel very good. With Krishnamurti, all sorts of egoists have gathered together around him. If you want to find the most cultured egoists, then you will find them around Krishnamurti. They are very cultured, sophisticated, very intellectual, very cunning and clever, logical rationalizers, but nothing has happened to them. Many of them come to me and they say, “We know, we understand, but our understanding has remained intellectual. Nothing has happened. We have not been transformed, so what is the point?” Krishnamurti says don’t cling to him, but you are clinging to yourself. If there is any choice to be made, better to cling to Krishnamurti than to cling to yourself. At least you are clinging to a better person.
Then there is another extreme. There are gurus who insist that you should cling to them. Surrender seems to be the end, not the means. They say, “Remain completely with me. Never allow any movement back to your home.” That too seems to be dangerous, because then you are always on the path and never reach the goal - because the goal is you. I can become a path; Krishnamurti won’t allow you to make him a path. Then there are others who won’t allow you to become the goal. They say, “Go on traveling, go on traveling.” You remain always on the pilgrimage and you never arrive - because arrival has to be at your innermost core of being. I cannot be your arrival. How can I be your arrival? One day or other you have to make me a departure.
I’m neither in agreement with Krishnamurti, nor with the other extremists. I say: use me as a path, but as a path remember. And if I start becoming a goal, kill me immediately, drop me immediately - because now the medicine is becoming like a disease. Medicine has to be used and forgotten. You should not carry the bottles and the prescription continuously with you. It was a means, instrumental; now you are healthy, drop it, forget all about it. Be thankful to it, be grateful to it, but there is no need to carry it.
Buddha has said that five fools crossed a river, then they all started thinking - fools are always philosophers, and the vice versa is also true - “What to do? This boat has helped us tremendously; otherwise we would have died on the other side. It is wild there, and night is coming, and there were wild animals and robbers, and anything could have happened. This boat has saved us. We should be grateful always and always for this boat, towards this boat.”
Then one fool suggested, “Yes, that’s right. Now we should carry the boat on our heads because this boat has to be worshipped.” So they started carrying the boat towards the town on their heads.
Many people asked, “What are you doing? We have seen people sitting in a boat; we have never seen a boat sitting on people. What has happened?”
They said, “You don’t know. This boat has saved our lives. Now we cannot forget it, and for our whole lives we are going to carry this boat on our heads.”
Now, this boat killed them completely. It would have been better to be left on the other side of the river. It would have been better to have been killed by wild animals rather than carrying this boat forever and ever. It was an endless misery. On the other side of the river, at least within a second, things would have happened. Instead, for years together they will be carrying the load, the burden, the boredom.