Chapter 9: Be the Formless in You
When you are not a doer what is the use of time? Buddha relaxed. This relaxation was absolute, total, whole. He relaxed into himself - nowhere to go, one has to relax into oneself; no desire, no thought, everything has proved futile. In fact, what proved futile was the male oriented mind, the mind of the doer. In the morning when the last star was disappearing, he opened his eyes. The whole night had been a night of dreamless sleep, because dreams are by-products of desires. Have you watched? When you want to do something, it is very difficult to sleep in the night; the morning is too exciting. Tomorrow is too exciting, you have to do something. Even if you are going for a holiday to the Himalayas, you cannot sleep in the night; planning continues. You have to do this and that, and rehearsal continues. Sleep becomes difficult .dreams.
Buddha slept for the first time. That sleep was samadhi: no thought, no dream, no desire. He relaxed into his center, and when he opened his eyes he was like a small babe - fresh, young. He looked at the last disappearing star, and as the star disappeared, he also disappeared. He became enlightened. But enlightenment happened in a deeply feminine state of mind.
Hence, Jainas and Buddhists are always in conflict - because Mahavira is a male oriented mind, a warrior, a conqueror. That is the meaning of the word mahavir. That is not his real name; his real name was Vardhman. But he conquered truth. And he was so brave and the adventure was so great that he is remembered as Mahavira: the great courageous one. There is a very subtle conflict between Jainas and Buddhists.
Down through the centuries they have been arguing against each other. That can be understood. Reason is male-mind, female-mind, yin and yang, active and passive, day and night. The day is the symbol of the man; the night is the symbol of the woman. The day is full of activity, the night is simply rest. The day is bright, light - the sun is there. You can see things clear-cut. You can define things: you can know what is what and who is who. In the night darkness surrounds. The whole existence is enveloped in darkness. You cannot distinguish what is what; you cannot see where you are, who you are. It is a tremendous relaxation of all definitions, of all limitations. Woman is always known as the dark one, the night, the earth. Buddha became a woman that night; he became enlightened.
The Bauls say,
dress yourself in the spirit
of all women.
Become a woman. They mean of course, psychologically, spiritually. It has nothing to do with your body, but your attitude. Woman is patient. Just think of a man having a child in his belly for nine months. You cannot conceive that a man will be able to tolerate it - impossible. A woman is very patient, accepting. Woman’s resistance is much stronger than man’s. Man, in fact, is the weaker sex. He may be stronger as far as muscles are concerned, but muscles are no criterion of strength. One hundred fifteen boys are born to a hundred girls. By the time they reach the age of marriage, fifteen boys have died. Nature has to give birth to more males because a few of them are going to die. Women live longer than men, almost five years more; that’s why you see so many widows in the world. And women are more resistant to illness, disease. Women are more tolerant, more accepting. From where comes this strength? - it comes from their receptivity. When you are a doer you exhaust yourself.