Chapter 1: Neither Do I Condemn Thee
First, you don’t know yourself what is right, but you start pretending: the hypocrite is created. You start pretending, you start showing that whatsoever you are doing is right. You don’t know what right is, and naturally, because you don’t know you can only pretend. From the back door you will continue doing the same: that you know it is right. From the back door you will have one life, from the front door, another. From the front door you may be smiling, and from the back door you may be crying and weeping. From the front door you will pretend to be a saint, and from the back door you will be as much of a sinner as anybody else. Your life will become split. This is what is creating schizophrenia in the whole human consciousness. You become two, or many.
Naturally when you are two, there is constant conflict. Naturally when you are many, there is a crowd and much noise, and you can never settle in silence, you can never rest in silence. Silence is possible only when you are one, when there is nobody else within you, when you are one piece - not fragmented.
Morality creates schizophrenia, split personalities, divisions. A moral person is not an individual because he is divided. Only a religious person is an individual. The moral person has a personality but no individuality. Personality means persona, mask. And he has many personalities, not just one, because he has to have many personalities around him. In different situations, different personalities are needed. With different people, different personalities are needed. To one he shows one face, to another he shows another face. One goes on changing faces.
Watch, and you will see how you go on changing faces every moment. Alone you have one face. In your bathroom you have one face, in the office you have another. Have you observed the fact that in your bathroom you become more childish? Sometimes you can show your tongue to yourself in the mirror, or you can make faces, or you can hum a tune, sing a song, or you can even have a little dance in the bathroom. But while you are dancing or showing your tongue in the mirror, if you become aware that your child is looking through the keyhole, you change - immediate change! The old face comes back.the father personality. “This cannot be done in front of the child” otherwise what will he think? - that you are also like him? So what about that seriousness that you show to him always? You immediately pull down another face; you become serious. The song disappears, the dance disappears, the tongue disappears. You are back into your so-called front-door personality.
Morality creates conflict in you because it creates many faces. And the problem is that when you have many faces, you tend to forget which is your original one. With so many faces how can you remember which is your original one?
The Zen masters say the first thing for a seeker to know is his original face, because only then can something start. Only the original face can grow, a mask cannot grow. A false face can have no growth. Growth is possible only for the original face, because only the original has life.
So the first thing is to know “What is my original face?” and it is arduous, because there is a long queue of false faces, and you are lost in your false faces. And sometimes you may think “This is my original face.” If you go deep into it, you will find this again is a false face, maybe it is more ancient than the others, so it looks more original.