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Chapter 29: Positive Thinking: Philosophy for Phonies

One idiot immediately was ready. The politician-turned-saint called him in the night, alone, because it was an absolutely private matter. Before he cut off the nose of the man he said, “When I cut off your nose, keep your eyes closed. When the nose is removed I will say, ‘Open your eyes,’ and you will see God standing before you.” The nose was cut off, and the saint said, “Now you can open your eyes: God is standing before you.”

The man opened his eyes - there was nobody. He said, “But I don’t see anybody.”

The saint said, “Now it is your problem. If you don’t see God, people will think you are an idiot. Do you think I see him? I don’t see him either, but now try positive thinking. What is the gain in being proved an idiot? Say that you have got it.”

Werner Erhard may think that he has created the philosophy of EST. That is not so. It was created thousands of years before by this politician who cut off the nose of that idiot. That was the first EST graduate.

The idiot thought it over and he said, “That seems to be the right thing; yes, I see it.”

The saint said, “You have also become a saint. From tomorrow start spreading the philosophy by word of mouth. It was just as Werner Erhard has been doing: no need to advertise in the newspapers and the magazines; no need - just by word of mouth. It is more impressive, more alive: there is an eyewitness. An advertisement in a newspaper may be just not true, but the man with the nose missing, smiling, radiant with the realization of the ultimate truth.

The next day people saw there were now two saints. And the number started increasing by the same strategy. First your nose is cut off, then the alternative: either you prove yourself an idiot, or you become a saint. Now who is going to choose to be an idiot? Even an idiot cannot be that idiotic - when he can become a saint so easily. And now there is nothing left, he has to become a saint. It seems to be perfectly right - people are respectful, and the crowd around the saints is increasing, and the saints are increasing.

Even the king of that kingdom became interested; he asked his prime minister. The prime minister said, “Wait a little, because I know this man - he was the prime minister of the neighboring kingdom. I don’t think that he has attained ultimate truth, he has simply lost his nose.” Politicians easily understand the language of politicians. He said, “Wait. Let me inquire of the other king, and investigate the whole thing before you lose your nose and realize God. Give me just a little time.”

He inquired of the other king. He said, “That man is really a nasty man. It is my fault because I cut off his nose. I should have cut off his head. I never thought that he would do such a thing as cutting the noses off thousands of people. Every night hundreds of people are turned into awakened souls, enlightened people, God-realized.”

He got the whole information and then he said to his king, “This is the information I have got. Now I will invite the great saint to the palace and give him a good beating.”

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