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Chapter 10: My Dance Is Complete

Once Nansen said to the assembled monks, “The way is not outside things; outside things there is no way.”
Joshu asked, “What is the way which is outside things?”
Nansen immediately struck him. Joshu caught hold of the stick and said, “From now on, don’t strike somebody by mistake!”
Nansen said, “It’s easy to speak of a dragon, but difficult to please me!” and throwing down his stick, he went back to his room.

At another time, Joshu asked Nansen, “When one realizes that ‘there is,’ where should he go from there?”
Nansen replied, “He should go down the hill to become a buffalo in the village below!”
Joshu thanked Nansen for having led him to his full enlightenment.
In response, Nansen commented, “Last night, at the third watch, the moon shone through the window.”

Maneesha, first I have to express my apology to you that I could not join in your dance. The whole credit goes to President Ronald Reagan. For no reason at all he dragged me through six jails in twelve days; I thought it was sheer torture. But as symptoms of poison started appearing in my body, experts in England examined every possible kind of poison that may have been given to me.

And they found one poison which is a category in itself. It is the only poison that disappears and cannot be found either in blood or in any other way except in the symptoms. And that poison, given in a big dose, kills the man immediately.

That made it clear to me why I was dragged through six jails. It was to give the poison in small doses so it would not kill me immediately, but would take years to destroy my body from inside.

I have almost overcome the poison. Just in my hands, in the bones and particularly in the joints it is still stuck. I have been dancing with you without bothering about it. I would have continued, but today the pain became too much.

But the pain is not the problem for me. The problem is: if I continue then perhaps I may have to stop speaking. So it is better to let this pain settle. I hope soon I will be joining with you again.

It would have been good if Ronald Reagan had killed me completely; that would have been a great credit to Christianity and to American democracy. But he has poisoned me through his administration in such a way that I will remain crucified for years. I am saving all my energy just for these two hours in the evening; otherwise, I am lying down in the darkness.

For me it does not matter whether death comes this moment or the next, my purpose is fulfilled, my dance is complete. I am just lingering around for you all to join with me in the great matter of enlightenment.

So I thought it is better not to put too much stress on the hands; you can understand even my unmoving hands and their gestures. But I would like you to continue the dance before I come and to continue the celebration when I leave the podium. I hope that with your love the poison will be defeated and I will be able to dance with you, to celebrate with you.

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