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OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol. 11
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Chapter 6: Rising in Love

The first question:

I have fallen in love with a woman I had divorced two years ago. Is it possible?

Man is almost a machine. Man is not yet man; he functions unconsciously, he lives in sleep. Hence everything is possible. In fact, you always fall in love with the same woman, even though apparently you fall in love with somebody else. The type is the same because your liking is the same, your mind is the same, your choice is the same.

Just watch people, watch their love affairs, and you will be surprised. It is always the same man or the same woman - yes, with a different face or with a different mask, different clothes, different shape and size. But these differences are not real differences.

Unless you are new how can you fall in love with somebody new? Who is going to choose? How is one going to choose? The same mind will like the same type of face, the same eyes, the same color, the same shape, the form, the way the woman walks, the way she talks. Again within a few days you will be tired, just as you were tired before. Again you will find you are trapped, imprisoned, and the woman will also find the same thing. But man lives in such an unconscious state that you cannot expect more than that.

If man is conscious, then many things become impossible. In the first place, falling in love itself becomes impossible. You start rising in love, not falling in love; the very quality of your love becomes totally different. It is no more a relationship, it is more a state of your being. You are full of love, you share your love, but there is no demand on your part. It is no longer a business, it is no longer conditional, it asks nothing. It is simply thankful that somebody accepted, that somebody did not reject your love. You feel grateful. It is not a bondage for the other, it does not enslave the other. It is not possessive; it is absolutely nonpossessive, unconditional, undemanding. It gives freedom. And when love gives freedom, lovers start soaring high, they start moving towards God. Love becomes a door to the divine.

Right now love simply drags you downwards. ‘Falling in love’ is a meaningful phrase - you certainly fall, you gravitate downwards. In the beginning you feel great, but only in the beginning. That is just infatuation, because you are hoping something new is going to happen. In the beginning you are excited, it seems a great adventure, but soon you find it is the same old, rotten thing - nothing special, nothing new. Just the partners have changed, but the game is the same - and played with the same violence, with the same ugliness.

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