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Chapter 27: Love Is Not Something to Get, Love Is Something to Give

I said, “No, because I wanted to go. If I did not want to go, I would have asked. So remember, whenever I don’t want to do something, I will ask you because I know the answer is no. And whenever I want to do something, I will simply do it. Now you can do whatsoever you want. If you want to beat me, you can beat me. If you want to punish me in some other way, you can do that. But this is going to be my whole lifestyle. I will never ask for a thing that I am going to do. I don’t want anybody else’s advice about it.”

My parents said, “Are you crazy or what? You will ask us only about things that you don’t want to do?”

I said, “It is very simple. It is so simple that even God missed it. It is so obvious that even God forgot about it. He said to Adam and Eve, ‘Don’t eat the fruits of wisdom and eternal life.’ Every father has been doing that since then, and every Adam and every Eve has to rebel.”

If you are interested in doing something, you can do it without any problem if there is no other consciousness.

You are working on objects, on things. They cannot say yes, they cannot say no. Whatever you want to do with them, you can do, but not with man.

It is your fault that you have not yet become mature enough to understand that with human beings, if you want a loving relationship then you should forget all power politics. You can be just a friend, neither trying to dominate the other nor being dominated by the other. It is possible only if you have a certain meditativeness in your life. Otherwise, it is not possible.

To love a human being is one of the most difficult things in the world because the moment you start showing your love, the other starts going on a power trip. He knows you are dependent on him or on her. You can be enslaved - psychologically, spiritually - and nobody wants to be a slave. But all your human relationships turn into slavery.

No statue will make you a slave. On the contrary, the statue makes you a master craftsman, it makes you a creator, an artist. There is no conflict. The real test for love is with human beings.

And a man is really intelligent if he can make a human relationship work smoothly. It needs great insight. Creating a statue or making a beautiful painting is one thing - those paints won’t say, “I don’t want to be put on this corner of the canvas, I simply refuse!” Wherever you want it, the paint is available. But it is not so easy with human beings.

Every human being has a birthright not to be dominated by anyone - but also a birth duty not to try to dominate anyone. And only then, friendship can flower.

Love needs a clarity of vision. Love needs a cleaning of all kinds of ugly things which are in your mind - jealousy, anger, the desire to dominate.

I have heard.in a marriage registrar’s office, a couple came to get married. They filled out the forms. The woman looked at the man - they were lovers, and they had come to the registry office against their family, because in India, marriage is not done in the registrar’s office. It is available. Legally you can do it but that happens only when you are doing something against the family, against the society.

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