Chapter 15: Sannyas: Getting Free from the Past
So a sannyasin doesn’t mean a man who has killed his desires. A sannyasin means a man who has brought all his desiring force here and now. He lives totally. Whatsoever he is doing he is totally absorbed in it. Nothing is left standing behind. He is not divided. While eating he becomes eating, while making love he becomes love, while moving he becomes movement.
Buddha has said - and very few have understood what he means - that when you move only movement exists, not the mover; when you talk only talking exists, not the talker; when you listen only listening exists, not the listener; when you observe only observation exists, not the observer. This is what a sannyasin is. The activity becomes so total that the actor is lost in the activity. There is nobody standing behind - no division. You have moved completely; you have flowed into the activity, whatsoever the activity. Then enjoyment becomes perfect.
So a sannyasin, a man who is desireless, is not a man with dead desires. He is a man whose desiring forces, all the energies that can desire, have turned upon the present moment. They are not running in the future, they have turned upon the present moment. His desires are concentrated here and now. He has become a world. Everything moves back into him. Nothing goes into the future because future is false, it is non-existential.
If your desires move into the future, it is as if a river is moving into a desert. It will be lost, it will never reach the sea, it will never enjoy the ecstasy that comes to a river when it meets the sea. When a river reaches an ocean the orgasm is felt all over the river - the dance, the ecstasy, the blessing. It will not come if a river moves into a desert and is lost. It will evaporate, it will die. There will be no communion with existence. When desire moves into the future, the river of desire has moved into the desert. Future is nowhere; it is always the present. Future is a creation of the mind - it is false, it is a dream. A sannyasin lives in the reality, not in the dream. He enjoys the reality.
So remember this: I insist again and again that a sannyasin is not a man who is against life. Really, he is the man who is for life. And a sannyasin is not a man who has killed all his being and desires and has become a dead thing. He is life in abundance, he is a great source of aliveness.
What happens? - this is subtle - what happens? What will the difference be? You feel hunger, you start thinking about food. You never feel the hunger in its totality; otherwise it has its own beauty. A person who cannot feel hunger is already dead. When hunger is there, hunger is in the present, but you start thinking about food. When food is there, you start thinking about some other food that you are going to get tomorrow.
A sannyasin, a man who lives in the present, enjoys hunger when hunger is there. He is totally hungry, he becomes hunger. Every cell of the body waiting for food as if it has not rained for many days and the earth is waiting for the rains. Every pore praying, waiting, inviting; the whole body waiting, inviting, enjoying the hunger. Then food is there; then he enjoys the food and the satisfaction that comes to the whole being, spreads all over the body and mind and soul. He enjoys this contentment.