Chapter 9: Mind Is a Fraud
And the ego is bound to be wounded; the ego is very sensitive, very fragile, because it is very false. It is ego that creates the space in which anger arises. Hence, Buddha says: Let go of anger and immediately adds Let go of pride because unless you let go of the ego you will not be able to let go of anger. Anger is a by-product. And one has to see very clearly the causes of things. Your minds are so jumbled up, in such a mess; you don’t know what is cause and what is effect.
A woman used to come from a faraway village to the city each year to give birth to a child. When she came for the seventeenth time the doctor said, “We always wait for you. You are the only one we can depend on each year that you will be here. When will you be coming the next year?”
She said, “I’m not coming anymore, because we have just discovered what is the cause of it all.”
Seventeen children and they have just discovered the cause of it all! She said, “I am not coming anymore.”
But that too is early. You may have lived thousands of lives and you have not yet been able to find the cause. Why this anger? Our minds are in such a mess that you cannot make head or tail of it. You cannot sort it out. Everything is so mixed up with everything else: causes pretending to be effects, effects pretending to be causes, things which are not related at all have become accidentally associated with each other.
Betty Engrove, the singer, switched on her radio one morning and tuned in on two stations at once: one broadcasting calisthenics exercises and the other giving out cooking recipes. Here is what she heard:
“Hands on hips, place one cup of flour on your shoulder. Touch your toes and mix them in one half cup of milk, repeat six times. Inhale one half teaspoon of baking powder, lower the legs and mash two hard boiled eggs, exhaling into a bowl and breathing naturally. Lie flat on the floor and roll in the white of an egg until it comes to a boil. In ten minutes lift your head from the fire and scrub briskly with a rough towel. Bend your knees, shake powdered sugar on them and serve it with soup.”
And your mind is tuned to many stations, not just two. All kinds of things are going on inside the mind. One day just sit down and write whatsoever is coming into the mind. And don’t cheat, just write exactly whatsoever comes in and you will be surprised that this is your mind; this is from where you have been living your life. You will find it absolutely insane.
It is good that we don’t have windows in the head, otherwise other people would look inside and they would be surprised; they would not be able to believe that this was you. You also will not be able to believe that this is what your mind is.