Chapter 29: Just Be a Little Saner
I am a twenty-four-year-old German guy and after doing a primal group I know pretty well that I don’t want to accept any other father or mother than me.
Now I like your teaching, your destroying of my old conditioning very much but why should I change my name, be a sannyasin and accept a master who says that there is no need for any authority?
Peter Heidegger, the question you have asked is immensely interesting. Even if you had not said that you are a German guy, the question would have revealed it - the question is authentically German! I am going to analyze it, because that is the only way a German can understand.
You have done only one Primal group and you have taken conclusions for your whole life. Do you see the stupidity of it? Do you see the impatience of coming to conclusions from a small Primal group - which is just a cathartic group, it is not meditation. It is not even the beginning of meditation. It is only preparing the ground, taking out the weeds and the grass roots before seeds can be sown.
Just this small group and you jump to conclusions, far-reaching, without being aware of what you are asking. You don’t know even the meaning of the words you are using.
You say, “After doing a Primal group I know pretty well that I don’t want to accept any other father or mother than me.” Do you see the implication of it? Primal therapy, and other therapies also, want you to be freed from your childhood fixations. You have been brought up by a man and a woman; naturally, you have become fixated on father, on mother, and these fixations affect your whole life, your whole lifestyle. And because your father is not going to live forever, you find yourself in a great trouble: without the father what will you do? Without the mother what will you do? You have become so dependent in your psychology.
It is out of this dependence that “God the Father” was created, that there are “Mother Goddesses.” These have not come out of the blue; they are projections of your psychology. You need them. They are tremendous consolations: your father may die, may abandon you, but the great father in the sky is going to protect you forever.
Even Jesus, a man who has created the biggest gang of criminals in the world, was tremendously father-fixated. All his prayers, hands raised towards the sky, are simply foolish, because in the sky there is nobody to answer your prayers. And he was so fixated that he denied his father Joseph; he insulted his mother Mary. A small incident will explain it to you..
He is preaching in his usual way in the marketplace, where you can always find a few bums who have nothing to do, a few urchins, a small crowd. And then somebody shouted from the crowd, “Jesus, your mother is waiting outside the crowd. She has not seen you for many, many days. She wants to see you.”
And the way Jesus treated his mother is so ugly that just this incident would have been enough to condemn this man forever. He said, “Tell that woman that my father is above the clouds in the sky. Here on the earth, there is nobody who is my mother and there is nobody who is my father.”