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Chapter 10: The Eternal Religion

“I am not looking for you,” the lucky man answered. “I am looking for the guy who left the door open!”

The second:

Jim Smith ran into an old friend on the street who was sporting two black eyes. After greeting each other, Jim asked, “Say, where did you get those shiners?”

“At church,” was his friend’s reply.

“How?” Jim asked, somewhat astonished.

“Well,” began his friend, “I was sitting behind a big, fat lady in church. When she stood up I noticed her dress was caught in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out and she turned around and socked me in the eye!”

“Wow!” said Jim, amazed. “But how did the other eye get black?”

Sighing, his friend said, “When I realized that she did not like what I had done, I put it back!”

And the third:

Johnny the Sperm and all his little friends were preparing for their big thrust out into the world. They were exercising and building up their strength. Johnny said to the other sperms, “Listen, fellows, I want to be number one - I want to be the first to become a human being!”

They were all hanging around when suddenly the bells of Jerusalem rang, “Gong!.Gong!.Gong!” Johnny took the lead - he was number one! But suddenly all the other sperms saw him turn around and start racing back towards them.

‘Hey, Johnny!” they yelled. “What’s wrong?”

“False alarm, boys,” Johnny called out to them. “It’s a blow job!”

Enough for today.