Chapter 9: Be the Formless in You
There have been a few people who have attained through that approach also - a Mahavira, a Patanjali - but those cases are rare, and the struggle is very long and unnecessary. God comes to you. God is always coming to you. The Bauls say, “It is not you who seek him, it is he who is seeking you. It is not that you pray to him, he is praying to you. Listen! Be passive, accept. He is knocking on the door, and inside the room you are so occupied in searching and seeking that you cannot listen to the knock.” Man cannot seek God; only God can seek man. This is a profound truth to be understood, because how can you seek God? How can you relate? You are so dark, so dull, so asleep, so unconscious, so ignorant - how are you going to seek? And whatsoever you seek will never be bigger than you, cannot be. Your God will be your God.
If horses seek God, they will make an image of God, but the image will be of a horse, not of a man - because man has never done anything good to horses. In fact, if they had some mythology about the devil, man’s image would be the image of the devil. If trees are seeking God, they will seek in the form of trees - because we cannot go beyond our form. Our form will be the limitation. So if you seek, the God is going to be yours, and your God is almost no God.
Let him seek you. Allow him. His hand has been reaching for you continuously; just be in a let-go. Don’t escape from him, that’s all. There is no need to seek him positively, just don’t escape from him. Let him be, listen, be receptive, welcome. In that listening, in that receptivity, he will penetrate you. Become feminine, become a woman. A buddha is a woman.
Buddha was seeking for six years; he tried the male oriented approach. He was a warrior, the son of a great king, trained in the ways of war and fight and struggle. It was natural for him to seek God. He tried, he tried hard. He went from one master to another, and he was so sincere that no master could say to him, “You are not doing it right, that’s why you are not reaching.” He was so sincere in his effort that all the teachers told him, “This is all we can say to you. And if it is not happening, then find some other master. We are incapable. We cannot do more than this.”
One day he renounced the whole world, then came the ultimate renunciation - one day he renounced the searching and seeking also.seeing the futility of it, just groping in the dark. That night when he dropped searching also, he became a woman. That night he relaxed under the bodhi tree; there was nothing to do now.
Man is a doer. Woman is a lover, not a doer. Man is the mind, woman is the heart. Man can create things, but cannot give birth to life. For that, receptivity is needed, receptivity of the earth. The seed falls into it, disappears underground, and one day a new life arises. That’s how a child is born. A womb is needed to give birth to God, or, to give birth to yourself. You have to become a womb.
Buddha became a womb that night, renounced all. Now there was nothing to do. Just meditate over it: nothing to do. The world was finished, there was nothing to find. Now even the spiritual search was gone. Everything became absolutely calm and quiet. When there is nothing to seek there is no desire; when there is no desire there is no thought; and when there is no desire, no thought, no search, the ego cannot exist. It exists as the doer. In that moment, future disappeared. When you are not going to do something, what is the point of having a future? The future is needed as a space to project your desires. To project, then future is needed. That night, future the disappeared; in fact, even time disappeared.